This is a collection of poems inspired by The X-Files. The author is Dulcinea. Please e-mail all comments to her. 'Samantha'--Dulcinea Every single night as I dream The guilt kicks in for losing you I know I could have helped somehow... Even though it's been so many years I still see you when I close my eyes.. -helpless -scared -calling my name And I can't do anything It's taken over every part of me Every other thought... Yet sometimes I wonder if it ever happened at all Just a run-away imagination Maybe you never even existed in the first place... But then I wake up from the nightmare and see your picture on the nightstand And I know I have to find you But by now you must have changed What if I pass you on the street one day, not knowing? A foot away from what I 've wanted to see most for so long And not even noticing I wonder if you remember me and blame me for your pain It's all right; I do Every spare moment of my time I'm sorry I failed Is the humiliation of believing enough of an apology? Having everyone look away because they think I've lost it Is that enough penance to bring you back? 'Starbuck'--Dulcinea I remember that one conversation we had so many years ago I disappointed you-I'm sorry, father I did it because it was what I wanted And now I can't even explain it to your face I sometimes wonder what you'd think of me now All that's happened to my life you didn't see My mother says you forgave me for that choice I made But I still want to hear it from you Even though I know I can't It's too late-I missed my chance Then I might have missed it again He's gone too I convinced myself that I knew what you would say But now I'm not so sure Now that I've gotten used to you being gone Beyond this world to somewhere else Say hello to everyone up there for me If there is a place that you went Not just gone into nothing All your love, hate, joy, sorrow, memories....gone It's getting harder to think sometimes, so I just don't know I don't know what to think I'd ask for help but there's nothing you can do Too late But even so, I still wonder: Were you proud of me?...... These are a few more X Files poems....I copyright em now, too... 'Heat'--an F.Mulder Abduction poem by Dulcinea (copyright 10/17/1994) It was cold outside that dark night in Massachusetts But it was warm inside The thermostat read 70 degrees I know; I'll never forget a detail of that night Sitting in the living room with....her Playing a board game-I was winning when we quit Never finished it...nevermind. We argued over TV shows-what a waste of time But that's what we did It was 70 degrees.. Then something happened to the lights I blamed her, and now I'm sure she blames me The next thing I felt was a paralyzing chill Though the thermostat still read 70 degrees. Then I heard her-I HEAR her calling my name She was the last one to ever do that And of course I let her down As she floated away Still screaming And 'they' told me that she'd be coming back soon And when the light faded I just sat there Crouched on the floor, shivering Though the thermostat read 70 degrees. 'Glance'--an F.Mulder Separate Cases poem by Dulcinea (copyright 10/17/94) Walking To yet another Rent-A-Car To yet another case To yet another crime scene To yet another scene of other's misery To yet another waste of my time This isn't what I wanted But I'm here anyway A wish is now a hobby-was a job And now all that I can do Is glance behind me Looking for something unexplained following behind Instead all I see are demeaning glances Instead of what I'm really looking for. I don't mind the glances-I'm used to it now But no longer having a reason for them to glance as I glance behind me I miss it when I think about it And recall why I let them glance before For the truth That they can't see And I can't find proof of Besides in my mind And other people's minds.. I glance behind me to see if she's there But she's gone too To yet another rent-a-car To yet another case To yet another autopsy To yet another scene of others' misery To yet another waste of her time Maybe glancing behind her for something unexplained And therefore routine. 'Skepticism'--a D.Scully Early in Series poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/18/94) And let me guess To what comes next In the story you're telling me An alien the colour green? And you expect me to believe you? No wonder all the others see you As 'spooky' and you remain A stranger who seems insane Looking for something you seem unaware That there is no proof that it is there No wonder they asked me here I understand now why they feared You getting out of control Not everything-or anything-is unexplained, I'm told And I believe-them, not you That what you see before you is the truth Most likely, and the unexplained is rare If, at all, it's ever there Why do you believe when you have no proof? This foolishness can't be the truth... ? "Insanity?"-a F.M. 'Duane Barry' poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/21/94) It doesn't make sense Just like everything else Everything that I touch is failed Everything I hold dear soon dies ..or fades away into the nothingness That fills my life while there's nothing else The blood's not washing off my hands The blood of everything I've ever cared for And now some of it is fresh The blood of another failure of mine They always go away Ever since I was a child I've failed Intertwined with success setting me up For the big fall Of myself and/or someone else I do not want to be without. First a sister, then like a sister Gone...gone away... And so many in between to find, To bury That scream my name when I try to sleep Which I can never do again I'll do without somehow I've done without so many things, I won't miss it I'm doing without them And the blood's clouding my vision As I beg for someone else to blame But I know it's me Always has been, why should it change? An apology won't bring them back And my candle's melted to the end I can't hold it much longer anymore for them to come home.. ************************************************************* These poems are based on the characters and situations created by Cris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting. Used without permission and no infringement intended.