"Protocol" The lights had been dimmed to half-light for some time now. A peaceful silence had settled over Kathryn Janeway's cabin. The only sound was the soft breathing of the captain and her first officer. The chronometer read 0100:15. Had anyone looked in, they would have seen a peaceful tableau: their captain, sound asleep against the shoulder of her newly appointed first officer. It wasn't intentional and she would be mortified if she were to wake up suddenly, which is exactly why Chakotay hadn't disturbed her. He had long since lost the feeling in his left arm, but he was more concerned about Kathryn's embarrassment when she awakened than he was about his own discomfort. Besides, if the truth be told, he was quite enjoying himself. After joining the crew of the Voyager, he had had to come to terms with his growing attraction for his captain. Protocol dictated that he never act upon those feelings, but protocol never stopped the dreams he awakened from in a cold sweat each night. Sometimes they were wonderful...many variations on the same theme, that being Kathryn locked in his embrace in almost any sexual encounter imaginable, her soft hair flowing around her face. Sometimes, though, the dreams were terrifying... Kathryn in some sort of hostile situation against which he had no control and almost always ending her death. Those were the worst. This evening had started out like many others they had shared. Of late, they had fallen into the habit of dining in Kathryn's quarters, ostensibly to review the events of the day. Chakotay sensed an underlying need for his captain to have a friend, a confidant. He was well aware of the bridges she had burned when giving the order to destroy the Caretaker's Array. He had seen her staring longingly at Mark's picture...her fiancé on Earth. Unable to bear looking at it anymore, she had put it aside, only to be used in the most desperate of times. Lately though, it didn't seem to give her the comfort and companionship she craved. He was afraid she had resigned herself to a life without love and the thought of her being so unhappy tore him apart inside. He wished there was a way to help, but short of exposing his feelings to her and risking humiliation, he was clueless. They had settled into a comfortable working relationship and he wasn't about to upset it. After yet another of Neelix's questionable feasts, they had retired to the couch for an after dinner drink and small talk. While Chakotay related stories about his people and his experiences with the Maquis, Kathryn leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He offered to leave, noting aloud how exhausted she looked, but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that she was only "resting her eyes" and for him to please continue with his stories. It wasn't much later when he realized that she was fast asleep and had drifted much closer to him than was proper. In another lifetime, he would have said "to hell with proper", but he cared too much for Kathryn to use her that way. Their recent experiences had changed him, too. The lines between right and wrong were no longer as well- defined as they had been when he was Maquis. He wasn't sure what he was sometimes, but he did know that Janeway was still his commanding officer and that protocol must be observed; after all, it's not like he could request a transfer if things didn't work out. The later it became, the more he knew he had to leave her cabin. He was at risk of falling asleep himself and knew that would only make matters worse. He gently started to ease his arm from under her. She shifted slightly and sighed in her sleep. He waited a few seconds and tried again. This time, however, Kathryn turned against him and wrapped her arms around him, effectively trapping him where he was. Now what? he thought to himself. He had just decided to wake her, when she spoke softly. "Don't leave, yet", she whispered in a sleepy, husky voice. "Stay." Gritting his teeth, he said quietly, "I must go. I can't stay, it's very late." He was further disturbed by the fact that her left hand had slowly risen to caress his cheek and his neck. His whole body began to tighten in response and suddenly his uniform was becoming extremely uncomfortable. "Kathryn, this isn't right." Her hand continued its exploration downward and she began drawing light circles on his chest with her fingers. His eyes closed tightly against the rush of feelings she was causing. He reached up with his free hand and caught hers in a firm grip. He had to stop this torture before it went further than it should. He was about to disengage himself when she began to cry softly. This was his undoing. He turned to the side and wrapped his arms around her. He held her while she cried. He didn't know why she cried, he only knew that it killed him inside to see her in pain. Slowly her sobs quieted and it seemed the most natural thing in the world for her to raise her face for his kiss. He lowered his head slowly, savoring every moment. His lips joined with hers slowly, tentatively. He was more careful than he had ever been with a woman. His mouth moved over hers in a tender dance of exploration, tasting and retreating, then repeating the process. Kathryn's hands were busy weaving themselves through his close-cropped hair and caressing his ears, his face, his shoulders....Tender was no longer enough. Her arms went around his back and her mouth opened to deepen their kiss. They broke long enough to take a deep breath and something inside him died a little as she murmured one single word..."Mark..." Chakotay felt as if he had been doused with ice water. He moved to put her away from him, more roughly than he ever thought he could be with her. What he saw made him pause in mid-motion ...Kathryn Janeway was not aware of where she was or who she was with. She was asleep. He was so astounded by this revelation that he almost laughed. It was a difficult position to be in. For just a moment he had allowed himself to believe in the impossible. Fool, he thought to himself. How could you think she would be interested in you? A renegade, only here because fate forced them together. He moved her aside as gently as he could, but it wasn't gentle enough to keep her from stirring. Sitting up slowly, she tried to focus on her surroundings. "What...oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I must have dozed off", she mumbled apologetically. She looked at the time and her eyes widened. She began to realize just how long she had been asleep. In bits and pieces her dream began to come back to her. She was with Mark, she wasn't sure where, and she had been about to...about to...the rest was forgotten the way that dreams often are. Something about the way Chakotay was holding himself set off a warning in Kathryn's mind. "Commander, what's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing. I should be getting back to my quarters. It's late and I have early duty tomorrow...today", he smiled tightly. No, something was definitely wrong. Trying to lighten the mood, she said, "I hope I don't talk in my sleep. You never know what secrets could come out." She smiled at him and he returned the smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Nothing to worry about," he answered. "Your secrets are safe with me. Good night, Captain". He turned on his heel and left her standing in the middle of the room feeling a little lost and somewhat bewildered. All the way back to his cabin he cursed himself for a fool, sometimes slipping back into his native language. He entered his cabin and quickly stripped himself of his uniform. With a disgusted laugh he realized that his body hadn't yet gotten the message. "Not tonight", he said aloud, glancing down at the remains of his arousal. "Not for a bloody long time." Tossing his uniform into a corner, then ordering the computer to darken the room, he settled in for a sleepless night. Kathryn Janeway spent what was left of the night tossing, turning and trying to escape from the disturbing dreams that haunted her sleep. She was dreaming of making love with Mark, only to have his face replaced by Chakotay's. In other dreams, the face of her first officer would be suddenly be replaced by that of Mark. She wasn't sure which distressed her more. She finally gave up on sleep and got dressed. The rough night was cause enough for her to use a healthy portion of replicator rations on coffee. Upon arrival on the bridge, she silently observed that Chakotay didn't look much better. "Mr. Chakotay, anything to report?" Only a miserable night without you, he thought, but he said tensely, "Nothing, Captain." She glanced his way questioningly and made up her mind to find out what was bothering him. The shift went on in uneventful calm. Aside from the underlying tension between Captain and First Officer, all was well. As the shift ended, Kathryn passed Chakotay and asked quietly, "Will I see you for dinner tonight?" He hesitated for a fraction of a second and said, "Of course." Well, here we go again, he thought grimly. I must be a glutton for punishment. No, his other half answered, you've fallen for her... hard. Idiot! he said to himself. Nevertheless, half an hour later, he found himself in front of Kathryn's door. Hesitating, he pushed the chime. "Come in", she called. As he entered he heard her say, "I'll be right out." Looking around, he remembered what almost happened here last night. He closed his eyes and thought about her hair, her scent, the taste of her lips, the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest..."Hello", she said, startling him into awareness. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before answering. She had taken the time to change into the one informal gown she had with her. He suddenly felt very overdressed. "I want...", they both began at the same time. Laughing softly, they both tried again and failed. Finally Chakotay spoke. "I want to apologize for my behavior on the bridge today. I had a lousy night, but that was no reason to take it out on you," he said. "I'm afraid I wasn't very professional today." "You did seem a bit distracted, but then I was not the model of perfection either. I only wish I could help with whatever's bothering you. I feel like this is all my fault; like something happened here last night, but it couldn't have. I fell asleep, right?" The longer he took to answer, the more uneasy she became. "Let's just forget about it, okay?", he said. "No, I can't. You're my friend and something has upset you." She paused, trying to recall the events of the previous night. "The last thing I remember is listening to you talking about your home. It was so peaceful that I closed my eyes. I wanted to be able to visualize everything you were describing. The next thing I know, I wake up to find you in a bad mood, ready to storm from my cabin." She paused for a moment, lost in thought. "I remember dreaming...about...Mark? Was that it? No, it couldn't be. I remember in my dream he kissed me." Chakotay couldn't take much more of this. She continued quietly, not realizing the effect her words were having. "But it was different. Sweeter. Not at all like I remember. I remember touching his hair..." Slowly she began to make the connection. If she had any doubts, they were erased by the expression on his face. One of total, complete embarrassment. "Oh, God," she said slowly. "It was you. But it wasn't a dream, was it?" "I wasn't going to say anything. You were asleep, you didn't know what you were doing." She wanted to say something to help him, but she was at a loss for words. Her stomach did several flips and she knew there would be no dinner for either of them tonight. "You don't understand", she said. "I think I do. You miss him and those feelings were temporarily transferred to me. It's simple." "That's where you're wrong," she said, shaking her head. "There's nothing simple about it." Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she continued in a low voice. "I've been trying to come to terms with my relationship with Mark. Realistically I need to face the fact that I may never see him again. I also know that I can't be a hermit forever. I need... Unfortunately, it's not as if I can hop off at the next M-class planet and start a new life." She turned to him and said something that rocked him to his very soul. "In my dream, I was saying good-bye." His heart stopped beating as he asked, "To what?" "To Mark. To my old life. I have to put it behind me." Janeway took a shaky breath and weighed her next words very carefully before she spoke. "Fortunately for me, I think I've found someone to help me do just that." "I refuse to be a convenient substitute just because we're stuck out here." "Chakotay, you're many things, but a convenient substitute isn't one of them," she replied, moving closer to him. "I've tried to put this into words, but I'm failing miserably. I'm attracted to you. I think I've known for some time, but I was afraid to think about it. Thinking about it would make it real. Then I would be forced to deal with it." "This is real, Kathryn." He took her hands in his and placed them over his heart. "Not a picture in a drawer that you pull out when it's convenient. This. Me. I'm here with you, I'm the reality." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Soon their hearts were beating in sync, and she raised her lips to his. As they touched, she felt like she was home. This was what she had dreamed about last night. This man, and her. They kissed for what seemed an eternity, tasting, touching, whispering soft words of encouragement to each other. Their hands slowly began to explore all the places they had only dreamed of. His strong hands tangled in her hair as he held her. Her fingers traced the contours of his face and worked their way down his arms and to his waist. Had he been wearing his uniform, it would have been much easier, but as it was she had to deal with normal clothes. A shirt, a belt, the fastenings at his waist. As her slender fingers toyed with his belt, he sucked in a harsh breath. He had held himself in check for so long he was afraid he would embarrass himself very soon. "Kathryn, stop." She was taken aback for a moment. "Why?" "You must know how I feel before..." "Before what? Before we make love? This isn't just sex. It's more than that. I know it and I think you do, too. Please...now.." He needed no further coaxing. Bending slightly, he caught her up in his arms and carried her the short distance to her bed. Setting her on her feet, he kissed her briefly and stood back. Lovingly he unfastened her gown and slipped it from her shoulders. To see her like this was almost more than he could bear. She reached for the buttons on his shirt, but he wouldn't hear of it. "It's my turn first, Kathryn. I feel as if I've waited forever for you." His strong, dark hands made quite a contrast against her pale, delicate skin. He acquainted himself with every inch of her, starting with her hair. She always wore it pinned back and tonight he took great delight in releasing the pins and watching it tumble around her shoulders. "I've dreamed of doing that so many times. I watch you move through the ship and I want to take you aside and touch you. It's been a source of discomfort for me many times", he chuckled. "The first time I ever saw you, on my viewscreen, I was awed by your strength and beauty." His hands followed a path down her neck to her breasts. She gasped as he gently traced their contours with his fingers. Kathryn was amazed that a man as strong and commanding as Chakotay could be so tender. Kathryn started to move toward him, but he held her off. "Please", she said with a whisper, "let me..." "No. It's still my turn. Remember the old saying, patience is a virtue? I'm not feeling especially virtuous tonight, but patience does have its' rewards." His hands continued on their journey, down her sides, pausing long enough to span her narrow waist. He moved his hands around her back and massaged the tight muscles at the base of her spine. His fingers slowly swept downward to cup the smooth skin of her bottom and pull her closer. Kathryn could feel the unmistakable signs of his arousal pressing against her. She tentatively reached forward to press a hand to his growing hardness From senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom- beacon.mit.edu!news.kei.com!ub!dsinc!newsfeed.pitt.edu!godot.cc.duq.edu!new s.duke.edu!news-feed- 1.peachnet.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!ix.netcom.com!netnews Sun Apr 2 15:50:58 1995 Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom- beacon.mit.edu!news.kei.com!ub!dsinc!newsfeed.pitt.edu!godot.cc.duq.edu!new s.duke.edu!news-feed- 1.peachnet.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!ix.netcom.com!netnews From: becca54@ix.netcom.com (BeccaO) Newsgroups: alt.sex.fetish.startrek,alt.startrek.creative Subject: "Protocol" part 2 Date: 1 Apr 1995 18:32:13 GMT Organization: Netcom Lines: 125 Distribution: world Message-ID: <3lk67d$m4s@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ix-mia1-26.ix.netcom.com Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.sex.fetish.startrek:6257 alt.startrek.creative:17383 Sorry! I had a disconnect midway through posting....Here's the rest. Disclaimers still apply! Becca With a sly smile she looked at his strained features and whispered,"My turn." Kathryn slowly opened the fastenings on his shirt. The billowing sleeves brought to mind images of pirates and renegades from centuries past. She fleetingly thought about the comparison, but soon there was no more time for thought. She pushed his shirt down his arms and spread her fingers over his smooth, solid chest. She brushed her fingers over his nipples and was delighted to hear a barely restrained gasp. Her hands sought out his belt buckle, but Chakotay was too impatient. His hands joined hers and soon there was nothing between them but the cool air of the cabin. Kathryn allowed herself a brief moment to look lovingly at his body. If men can be beautiful, she thought, then this is certainly the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Slowly she reached forward and touched him. As she caressed and stroked his erection, he thought surely he would die from the pleasure. Her hands were quickly driving him to the edge, but he wasn't ready to end it this way. Chakotay took her hands in his and brought them to his lips. Kissing each fingertip in turn, he said, "Kathryn, make love with me." No answer was necessary. The look on her face spoke volumes. Without knowing, or caring how, they found themselves on Kathryn's bed. Their lips met with a fierceness that could no longer be denied. As their kiss deepened and their tongues met in a mating dance all their own, so their hands began their intimate exploration of each others' very secret places. Chakotay's hand caressed each breast in turn, leaving her wanting more when he moved on. His fingers brushed the soft hair at the juncture of her thighs and paused ever so slightly before claiming their prize. Kathryn sighed his name as he explored the soft petals that were moist with desire. He couldn't ever remember a woman having this effect on him. The fact that he was the cause of her arousal only heightened his feelings. Chakotay wanted her more than ever, but not yet...He continued to stroke her with his hand until she could no longer take it. Her whole body tensed as she climaxed and her world exploded in a blaze of light. She called his name in breathless ecstasy and, without allowing her time to recover, he settled himself between her thighs and entered her in one sure stroke. He paused, just to savor the feeling of her warmth surrounding him. Kathryn opened her eyes and the look of love she saw on his face made her want to weep and sing at the same time. She shifted slightly beneath him and it was enough to bring him out of his trance. He kissed her passionately as his hips began to slowly rock back and forth. She ran her hands down his back and held his buttocks in her hands as if to pull him closer, but that was impossible. They were as close as two human beings could ever be. They rocked together faster and harder until their release was unstoppable. Kathryn came first, crying out Chakotay's name. He followed her into oblivion a few seconds later, also with her name on his lips. As their senses slowly returned to normal, Chakotay murmured soft sounds of love in words she had never heard. The raw emotion in his voice was so powerful that Kathryn could not stop the flow of tears that was wetting her face. He kissed her tears away and held her close. They drifted off to sleep in each others arms, only to waken and make love again. Each time was more powerful than the first. Sometime near ship's morning, they slowly awakened in a tangle of arms and legs. They had finally fallen asleep, locked together with Chakotay's softening erection still inside her. Neither had dreamed this night, for their most passionate dreams had become reality. As awareness of their surroundings brgan to set in, they sighed in unison. "It's almost time to report for duty", Chakotay whispered in her ear. "This changes things", Kathryn said with a hint of regret in her voice. "No, I won't let it. We can't abandon what we found here last night. I feel as if I've waited my whole life to find you and I refuse to give up that easily." Sighing loudly, she replied, "But I'm your Captain. I have to give you orders every day, orders that you may not agree with, but that I will expect you to follow. How can we..." "Enough. We'll work it out. Besides," he said with wicked amusement, "you don't *always* get to be in charge. I had a few commanding moments of my own last night." "I suppose we could work out a compromise", she said turning to face him and running her fingers down his naked back. "Suppose I'm in charge on the bridge, and you can be in charge when we're off duty?" "You mean like now?" he said as he rolled her over and kissed her soundly. "I think you've got the right idea", she said softly, surrendering to the passion that threatened to overtake them once again. If anyone on the bridge that day noticed a change in the air, they were prudent enough not to mention it. The End