ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ÛÛÛÛÛÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÙÛÛÛÛÛÀ¿ ³ ÀþþþþþþþÙ Û ³ þþþþþþþ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Ûß ³ Û Û ÛÛ Û ÜÛÛ Û ßÛ ³ ÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³ ÛÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ Û ³ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛÛ Û ³ Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³ ÛÛ ÜÜßÛÛ ÛÛ Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ³ ÛÛß ÛÛ ÛÛ Û ÛÛ ³ ÛÛ ÛÛ ³ ÛßßÛßßÛ ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÛÛ0ÛÛÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ Û Û ÛÜ Û Û Û ÛÜ ÜÛ Û ßßÛßß Ûßßßß ÛßßßÜ ³ÛÛÛÛÛ³ ÀÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÄÄÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÛÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÙÛÛÛÛÛÀ¿ ÛÜÜÜÛ Û ßÛ ÛÜÜÜ Û Û ß Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ ÛÜÜÜß ÀþþþþþþþÙ þþþþþþþ ***** Presents ***** Phun With TV Evangelists Written by: The KneeKap Co-Written by: Calfyow Lick-Me Enterprises (c) 1991 Written: 4/30/91 Ever watch one of those Christian channels like channel 38 in the Chicago land area? They're often quite amusing and the possibilities for phucking with them are endless. For instance.. Some day when you are really bored and have nothing to do try this: Half the time one of these Christian channels are going to be running one of their telethons to "keep the faith alive". Personally, I think it's a bunch of bull and the executives there are trying to make some money by exploiting the faith of the incompetent viewer. So if you are bored call up the number they flash in your face and pledge something in the area of 1,000+. This always gets the singers and the telephone operators and the dork preaching really horny. For instance, try something like this conversation below.. Operator: Hello! Bless you for calling the channel 38 telethon. How may I help you in you today? Caller: Praise the lord! I watch your station every time I get a chance to. My children just love your after school progamming. I happen to be very financially secure and I have been smiled upon by God and I feel I must donate a large amount to keep the faith alive. I want to donate $1000 a month for the next 20 months. (and now the operator now trying to be modest says...) Operator: Praise you! You are truly blessed! You want to donate $25 a month for the next two months?? Caller: No! I want to donate $1000 a month for the next 20 months. (now the operator gets horny...) Operator: Oh... OH! $1000 a month! OK.. So that's $1000 a month for the next 20 months... (long pause)... THAT'S $20,000! Caller: Yeah Operator: Praise the Lord! (and a bunch of bullshit like that).. Now, may I take your name? Caller: Yes, my name is Henry Bullshit. Operator: And what is your address? Caller: 666 Bullshit Ln., Highland Park Operator: And what is your zip code? Caller: 60508 Operator: And what is your phone number? Area code first please. Caller: (708) 433-3961 (and I suggest calling and asking for Dr. Bernard Schneider... that's the poor shmuck we used as a victim...) And then a lot of religious bullshit (we use that word a lot don't we?) ensued and finally we got off the phone. And if you happen to be lucky they'll be broadcasting live and everyone on the set will be horny with joy. A few pointers.. Before you do this get out a phone book and pick a name (victim) that you will use to talk to the operator.. Write it down and get it so you sound natural.. This way they'll buy it and then you can have a laugh knowing you have sone another pathetic phone crank.