ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍËÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ» º ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Ûßßßß º º º Ä ßÜ Û Û Û ÛÜÜÜÜ º Vaginal and Anal Secretions Digest º º ÄÄÄ ßÜ Û ÛßßßÛ Û º Issue #89 - Released: August 16, 1993 º º ÄÄÄÄÄ ßÛ Û Û ÜÜÜÜÛ º º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÐÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º Late Night Revenue º ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ º Author: Mel Farr Superstar ³ Official Size: 6,333 Bytes º ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÏÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ Greetings my friends. This issue of VaS, the worlds coolest periodical will explain to you the proper methods of earning a bit of cash while also giving you something to do wednesday nights besides watch PBS. Of course this issue deals with ILLEGAL topics... Oooh how EVIL EVIL EVIL. So of course these things would only THEORETICALLY work. Yeah not that we have ever tried any of them . So in a way this is a disclaimer. If you pull it off, send us money. If you get caught I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT. Anyhow lets cut to the chase: Method Numero Uno: The Garage. ------------------------------ The garage is a wonderful storage area. Its enclosed, usually attached to the house, so a sense of security is there, and many valuable things are kept in it due to this false sense of security. Things you may find are golf clubs, tool sets, beer, etc. I wouldnt bother with the cars or the lawnmowers, they are a bit tricky to move. Anyhow most people have doors on the side of their garages, and most of the time they don't bother to lock them. And sometimes they dont even bother to shut their big garage door. This is where you step in. If you find a nice set of golf clubs in a bag, you can fetch around $200 for them! EVIL EVIL EVIL... And dont forget to grab the cases of beer for the celebration afterwards. Method Numero Duex: The Car. --------------------------- There are many ways to access the interior of a car. The first method of course is to smash a window with a brick and unlock the door. However this method is just a BIT noisy and messy. One way to avoid this, if you MUST break the window is the old duct-tape all over the window and tap it with a blunt object , the window spiders but stays together. Now you just peel the tape back and the window comes with it. This is a bit time consuming however. Another method is to grab your handy high-powered drill and drill out the door lock, or better yet, the trunk lock and boom... People tend to keep cool stuff in their trunks since they figure its the safest place in the car. Be sure you grab a titanium drill bit, about 1/3" thick or so to do the job proper. The easist way is to simply walk around a dark neighborhood and hit the cars parked in the driveway. THE DRIVEWAY? Yes, most people leave their cars unlocked when they are in the driveway since they think nobody would be stupid enough to try to break into it there. WRONG-O. When in the car, be sure to check under the seats, as many people will 'hide' stuff there, or check in the glove box... You always find tapes, zippos, and on occasion, money. Be sure to steal the vehicle title and registration while you are in there just to be a total asshole. Method Number 3: ---------------- There is no method 3 asshole, don't you think all the other ones are enough you greed bastard? Anyhow, the items you will find in your upcoming expeditions will provide you with plenty of money provided you know how to sell it. Some basic tips for selling your stolen goods: þ If the item is worth less then $20, don't bother selling it unless you absolutely need that ten bucks. Its not worth the hassle or the risk of getting caught selling stolen stuff. þ Don't take it to a pawn shop. If it was that easy, the cops would be shutting down pawn shops right and left. They require lots of ID and such, not a good idea. þ If you do find stuff like golf clubs, don't go to a golf store that's anywhere near the city you stole them in. Chances are the person who had them taken will call the local shops and tell them to watch out for someone selling them. Golf clubs do have serial numbers and can be rather unique. þ Don't ask more than half the actual price of the item you are selling, unless the person you are selling it to doesn't know it's stolen. However, dont ask too little or the person will become suspicious. Also, set a firm price and don't let someone talk you down from it because they are stolen - it may be stolen but it works like the same one they'd pay twice as much for at the store. Anyhow, good luck In your little 'outings'. And if you find any cool stuff, let us know . 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