### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ## ####### [ The Second Excuse ] [ By The GNN ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ THE SECOND EXCUSE by THE GNN/DualCrew-Shining/uXu After years of more research, I have finally discovered what people say when they fail to write interesting articles... when they cannot put out something interesting in their zine... when they mess around with concepts they have no clue about. I heard this Second Excuse (the first one was about another subject, see UXU-041.TXT for details) everywhere I listened. Almost every little sucker told me The Second Excuse all the time. So I wondered: "Is it like this all over the world?". I decided to find out. It was hard. Once again, I had to climb the mountains of Nepal, dive in the Pacific and survive dozens of dry deserts to find all e-zine publishers and writers on planet earth. But when I, thirsty, hungry and with scars from wild animals all over my body, switched on my computer and begun typing again I knew! I was right! First, some true examples: A happy but yet ignorant loser does not hesitate to submit his latest how-to file to his own e-zine. Unfortunately, this file is about making an explosive that will detonate in your hands before you have reached step three in the instructions. What will the loser say when you confront him with these facts? "I know nothing about explosives!" No... One poem is not enough, according to out friend Loser. So he sits down and produces twenty-four pieces of art that are so unbelievable worthless that the unfortunate people who read them just cannot stop puking. When asked how someone can put out such a load of garbage, will Loser explain the truth? "I have no talent whatsoever!" No... Unsatisfied with the government and dedicated to some unknown form of anarchy, X decides to write an article about the corrupt society. 20kb later, the only thing of substance he has produces is the sentence 'When I shoplifted at K-mart I got caught and had to go to the station in a police car, something I found to be scary.' How will X reply to the statement that he is nothing more than a spoiled kid that knows nothing? "Yes, I am a spoiled kid who really does not know anything about the complex matters around me!" No... I love to write fiction, says our friend. That might be the case, but when we finally get the chance to read his work, which he has described to be tremendous, we find it to be over two-hundred pages of crap. No beginning, no end, no contents, no intrigue, nothing. Just before we all fall asleep over the monitor, we ask him how-the-hell-he-could-write- this-insult-to-good-taste? His answer? "I am not good at writing, that's the simple truth of today." No... Lucky XX got a computer and a modem for Christmas this year! XX begins to explore the digital world and soon finds the fun zines and groups he fancy. Since XX has not been a part of the underground very long, and he knows it, he tries to convince the scene that he is the coolest dude alive by writing files that clearly explains why the underground suck and why he is the one who ought to make the rules. When XX finds himself on the floor with a gun to his head will he apologize for his childish behavior? No... Some pathetic fool that seems to hold only five words in his vocabulary demands us to read his zine. A closer look reveals that his 'zine' consists of nine files, 500 k each, including four index and information files where you can see that they have yet no ftp-site but a defective mailing-list. "I wish to explain that my zine sucks big time!" No... etc etc etc... So what DO they say? Well... as we know, they all say the same thing. The excuse that every low level writer uses when he or she is unable to produce something that makes you interested and is a pleasure to read. Everywhere. All over the world! "This file contains more than what meets the eye!" /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 'The open society and its enemies.' A debate on this subject in progress at: THE STASH +46-13-YES \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ The Spell of Plato. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #276 Underground eXperts United 1995 uXu #276 Call PHALLICIDE -> +1-408-883-9535 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------