uSu - united States underground By:Mind Bender fedz, why they suck, and how to avoid them Yes, why all know that fedz suck, they ruin fun, they make life miserable for anyonw who doesn't SUCK! That's just the basics. The also suck because they couldn't solve a crime without all their high tech shit. This file is saying that the fedz as a group and stupid and suck, not that each indivisual fed is stupid. There must be at least some smart fedz, but not enough to make any kind of difference. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The fedz are very stupid, there are only 3 reasons fedz ever catch people. 1. All their high-tech shit 2. right place-right time 3. reports from people 1. Encyclopedia Brown could catch more people than the fedz if the fedz didn't have all this high tech shit :). All this fingerprint dusting, call tracing, etc. Without there gadgets, they can't do anything. 2. If a fed is on patrol and he happens to see a robbery. He drives as fast as the fedmobile can go and catches the guy. This is luck. 3. Reports, like when someone calls and goes, somebody's in my house! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TO AVOID FEDZ 1. before commiting a crime, think what high-tech gadgets they could use and then try to come up with ways to make it so the gadgets will be useless, like to avoid call tracing you would use a payphone and be quick. or to avoid fingerprints you would use gloves. This part requires some thought. 2. When a fed sees you by sheer luck, you have got some problems, it helps if you have a mask, so they can't identify you. Also don't use a car, because fedz have cars that can go very fast, and have better suspension not to mention other things. 3. After someone sees you, or a fed, if you know, run, leave town lose or gain a few pounds and shave your head. You could also make yourself look different when you commit the crime(before-hand preperation). Then make yourself look normal again. Like die your hair, lose or gain pounds, get a stick on tatto and remove it. Get some lenses for your eyes. Put makeup on so you look like you have a scar. Limp, whatever, you have to be a good actor to do some of these things. I hope that helps, cya and look for more uSu releases soon. -Mind Bender