°±²ÛßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßÛßßßßßßßßÛ²±° °±²Û ¿¿¿Â¿ Û PiZZA UNDERGROUND DiGEST VOLUME 3 iSSUE 05 EPiC 22 Û Â¿¿¿Â¿ Û²±° °±²Û ³Ù³³³³ Û Serving the modem people for a very berry long time. Û ³Ù³³³³ Û²±° °±²Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û This issue composed mainly by: Baphomet the *.* Û Ù ÀÙÁÙ Û²±° °±²ÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÛ²±° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ "I thought I was a llama, I swear!" ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ [1] Ú¿ À¿ ÚÙ À¿ ³ ³ÚÄÄÙ ÀÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ÄÄÄÄ¿³ ³³ ³ ÀÄÙ ÚÄÄ¿ ³ þ Issues? Where o' where have they gone. ÀÄÙÚ¿ÚÄ¿ ÀÙ ÀÙ ³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄ¿ÀÄÙ Á ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÀÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄı±± ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿± ÀÄÄ¿Remember the good ol' days when PUDs used to come out faster than one ³± Ú¿ ³could tell how lame a VBBS board was? Well I do. Well guess what? They ³± ³ÀÄÙdon't any more. Yep that's right they don't do it anymore. Why? Well I ³± ÀÄÄ¿am a really lazy person and well No Courier is too. So what does that ³± °°°³mean? Nothing. In fact this opening thingee means nothing at all. Nope ³± °°°³not a thing, that's right, just a waste of bytes and time. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ± °°ÚÙ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÄÄÄ¿±±±±±±±± °ÚÙÚÂÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ±±± ÚÙÄÅÙÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄı±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ÀÄÄÙ þ Mail, Oh Mail, Oh MY! This issue is nothing more than a clearing house for stuff that really needs to be distrubted[Or whatever]. I have decided that even though I have nothing to post off in this issue I should finish it just for the sake of all of this mail and stuff. þ Mail from Brett Salyer. Ooops, guess I shouldn't have started with his real name. Damn there goes all the wonderment now... Here is a little example of being a nice congienial user. 4/6 Email Title: Get A Life. Date: Wed May 05, 1993 16:22:37 (0 days old) Origin: Unknown System (Unknown) [?] From: Baphomet the limbo king #78 @0 VirtualNET To: brett #13 @0 VirtualNET Hey, I am the SysOp of The File Dimension, I have to WORDS for you FUCK YOU! You are so cool.. Oh "He is a Lamer"!! (Oh Gosh don't scare me), your worse than Mr. Brownstone. I have alot of private users on my BBS and they enjoy calling it, your just pissed probably becuase you cant get on it. So if you want to act like a DAMN 2 Year Old go ahead.. The Gate Keeper [Reply] Oh FUCK YOU! Wow that is really original. SO did you or your mommy come up with that one? I could care less about your fucking board, obvious by my non-attempts to even look at the number cross-eyed. I am just SO FUCKING sick of hearing about a PRIVATE bbs. Maybe you need to learn some english. Private. That means SHUT the fuck up about it. I bet they enjoy calling your little fag-hodge-podge, let me guess VBBS board? Was I right? Are you just upset because silentnet died so hard? Or it just the fact that you suck... I bet you even have an EliTe WaReZ section don't you? God you suck. Yes I mean all of this personally. The gate keeper? So your the one I give that 2bucks to before I fuck your mom? Oh BTW all flaming intended. Your welcome. Afterthought... As shown by the message above, I can be quit, well, er um, less than congenial at times. If I have ever been this way to you let me take this fine oppotunity to say, well, I MEANT EVERY DAMN word of it. Your welcome, no really... þ Mail from some mysterious WWIV user. This message came from the 'Ghost in the Machine' echo where I have been arguing for viri writers and the inability of a virus to do some physical damage to your machine. Biff And Lola #49 @5922 Thu May 06 10:57:04 1993 Regarding:Not good? Viri? Huh? Status :No Reply Requested I really wish you'd shut up. You're just about as lame as a Cramp. Stop flaming other users in public, and act your age. Well now! I have been called a lot of things but NEVER and I mean never has one called me 'lame as a Cramp'. Flaming users in public? Me? Oh come come everyone knows how congenial I am. You just ask people for some proof about hardware damaging viri and they tend to get all kinds of upset. þ Hymie? Mail, why of course! This isn't all of the mail from Hymie, just a sampling hell if I included more of his mail we would have to call it the PUD-HYMIE newsletter and well damn it that would be nice. Notice how there is a no mail from Digital Saint. I am proud of that. We didn't want mail from that damn LaMeR anyway. Hymie #86 @2506 Dear sirs: I must respectfully decline your offer of 5/8/93. Although it would be exceedingly nice to say that my daughter is a star of the silver screen, I must state in no uncertain terms that I do not care for the subject matter. Somehow, I doubt that the title "Bethy Becomes a Big Girl" is indicative of a movie I would like for my six year-old to star in. Although it flatters me to hear that she would share the spotlight with such illustrious names as Satan's Mutt, Necro, and The Kitten Slayer, I must decline. With Goofy Grin--- ---Hymie =) Hymie #86 @2506 Dear Sirs: I would like to take this moment to thank you for picking my daughter up from kindergarten after school yesterday. It was quite nice of you. However, you forgot to take her home. Although her mother and I appreciate the free time, we would greatly appreciate the immediate return of our daughter. With Respectfully Goofy Grin--- ---Hymie =) Hymie #86 @2506 Dear Sirs: We would like to inform you that we are pleased that you have decided to return our daughter. However, the terms put forth by you are not acceptable. Rather than have our daughter returned one piece at a time, we would very much like to have her returned all in one piece, all at one time. We hope this is not an inconvenience to you and your parties. With Sincerely Goofy Grin--- ---Hymie =) Hymie #86 @2506 Dear Sirs: We have discovered that our daughter is *not* the only heir to the Williamson estate. In fact, she is not due to inherit anything. Due to this recent turn of events, we have decided to forsake all claims to our daughter. In short, you can have her and do anthing you want to do to her. She enjoys bed-time reading material. As her new guardians, I highly recommend that you read to her O' Henry's "The Ransom of Big Red Chief" With Goofy Grin--- ---Hymie =) þ Lost Mail! If you happened to send in mail and don't see it here[HINT HINT CROSS]. That means I lost it. Please get in touch with me so I can post your mail here and degr...I mean compliment you in the right place, the only place that really cares about you, PUD. We're like your family, except we don't feed you, clothe you, give you money, or care about you. Other than exactly the same. þ Look a block! See the title line, first character. þ Exclamation! Wow! Is it obvious that I just logged off of a WILDCAT! board?! I hope it isn't! Boy! Would that be bad! þ [MaF] ASCii!!!! ²ÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²Û°°°°°°° Û ÛÛÛÛ²Û°°°°°°° ÛÛÛÛÛÛ²ÛÛ°°°°°°° Entitled: The Colours of Man. ÛÛÛÛ²²Û°°° °°° ÛÛÛÛ ²²°° ÛÛÛ ²²°° ÛÛ ²²°° þ Windoze, oh said Bill when I hit him in the nose.[2] I hate Bill Gates. I hate everything about him. But most of all? What do I hate about him most of all? Basic. That's right that fine programming language that continues to be pushed on the young and computer ignorant as some sort of a miracle. What is it good for? Not teaching. Surely not programming, I mean all you have to do is look at some of it's fine WaReZ. Look at VBBS. I rest my case. þ Random Acts of Cruelty. Yep you hear about them all the time but you wonder who does them. Who could do all those mean and just low things? Well I will tell you it is PUD. We claim all responsability for EVERYTHING. I'm so sorry I didn't put that bolt back right on the shuttle, I'm sorry that bomb went off, I'm sorry for the VBBS board that is about to go down. I'm just sorry. þ Who am I? Do people call you by your handle in public? They do me. I am not sure if it is a curse or not, but the words ,'Hey Baph.' Now make me turn me head. Thank god no one calls me Phreakazoid or any of my other really stupid-asinine names, and GOD FORBID anyone use my real name, which just happens, conversely to be, FRED. No releations to fReD tHe HiTmAn of course. þ Mooga, Divinity in the Sea. Mooga, the waves shine upon your back. The sky gleams with blue. I hope one day you understand that, even though I am not a whale I love you. Oh mooga, mooga how fine you are, I kick you, spit on you despise who you are but even I love the waters of blue. The sea was calm as the man stepped out onto the deck. The skies rumbled with hatred at the ship. Everyone was running around, the weather was heck. But across the sea a whale had flown to hunt the man named Bip. Oh mooga, mooga how divine you are, I sacrifice my child to you Tell the tales of my hatred for the bar of steel that keeps from those waters of blue. The sky crashed and rumbled as the ship traveled. The man Bip had come to the end of his time. But so had I, all trapped in my cell, becoming unraveled. The ship borne into a thousand pieces as the mime cried. þ DVX. DesQView-X. Everything windoze should have been but isn't. If you enjoy the thoughts of running a real GUI that still has power and speed then run it. Damn it DVX is all kind of swass. Run your dos programs in virtual screens, run X-Windows stuff, just lie in the beauty and simplicity of it's modern utilities. þ Preachers of Truth. Have you seen the 700club lately? You should. It is full of nice wholesome factual information. Yep nothing is better than a little 700 club to get you laughing in the morning...oh I'm going to hell. Well damn it. I guess since I am already going, I may as well make it worthwhile. Anyone have Roland DeQuickBasic FrEaKs Address? þ Places to Pick up Some PUD's. You may or may not find PUD's at the following locations. There are others I have been informed of and to tell you the truth I have no idea what the general readership is, I think it is more than 6.[3] Boards, notice no numbers get them your lazy self: Project-X, Caustic Contagion, Cybernetic Violence, Midian, Battle of Everymore and some other ones I can't remember right now and am way to damn lazy to look up. Give PUD to all your friends. It's a bad habit that everyone needs to pick up, þ Ergo. I begat the sea ergo I am the one that rules all ergo I am the ruler of you ergo you serve me ergo the sky is mine ergo so are all of your dreams ergo I am not the orcan man ergo but I still can ergo finish men delight in the depths of seas ergo they like to fish ergo I have been accused of using the word ergo to much ergo I stop. þ More? Will there EVER be more PUD's? Well seeing how I just quit my job. Damn I feel so sad. BLahehaehehaee, well anywayz dU0dz I got some free time now. I think I will spend it lambasting poor innocent ignorant VBBS sysops. Hey and if all goes well I will be kicked off of SilentNet by this weekend! YES! Of course many of you don't understand how difficult this is. I the master of common language, second only to Be..er..um N0 C0URiER in congeniality will be the worst thing SilentNet has ever seen, next to the average pathetic moron of a poster. Hmm let me show you a cut from a common post... ...Oh yhea well I can qote more then you!..... Stupid Alias Even Stupidier Catch Phrase. That type of message is usually proceeded by, oh 20 or 30 qouted line of pure gibberish. Yep nets are going to save the world! Be cool and start your own pathetic local net today! þ Sources for Qoutes: [1] Bloom County. Portney the hedgehog when his true species is revealed. [2] Not a real qoute. I just made it up, no really I did. [3] No really more than 6 people read each issue, hey it may even be up into the double digits. I guess that means you are all kind of elite if you read [PuD] d0uDz! [5] Project-X. No longer being the top poster there, you get reset at a thousand, the board's name was changed back to Project-X after a brief two stint as 'Baphomet's got a lot of posts' and unfortunatly Digital Saint had his alias changed back to Digital Saint. I thought Pierce the Pokable Pototoe was good. [9] Notice how I skipped a bunch of numbers. That's called being creative. Yep I am so original it isn't funny. Ok, ok so I'm a sad lazy fuck who is to LaMe to change the qoute numbers, yhea well my dog can flip.[7] [7] Hey shut-up. It makes sense if you are in the right frame of mind. Fucked. [13] No believe it or not, Hymie is an actual real person. Sure he mistakes gender a lot, steals parts of movie theaters and well just has a lot of fun at Krystals but other than that he is a real morbid waste of human flesh. þ MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL SEND MAIL PuD senior editors can always be reached at: Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 WWIVNET NO COURiER 25@2506 WWIVNET Or call Project-X[5] and EMAIL us there at (205)-883-0894 Contributing users may be more difficult to find: Hymie ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ84@2506 WWIVNET[13] fReD tHe HiTmAn Off at the Cob Cinema 12 waiting on DIG. The BrAvE LiTtLe ToAsteR Sitting under a street-light. John McAffee Wondering how come his wife love me more. G-BUNNY At the Playmor playing Mortal Kombat. Biscuit and Gravy Lee's chicken hitting on a high haired girl. Mooga the Whale Currently ranked 3rd in IBF Boxing. Released on the Date: Tue 05-25-1993 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚÀÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú À¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ´EndingÄQouteÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀ ÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿³ "So could I see your student ID?" [9]³À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙ ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿Ú¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ¿ÙÀ¿ÚÚ¿À¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙ¿ÀÙÚ¿Ú ¿¿ÀÀÙ¿À¿ÀÙÙ¿ÚÀÙ¿À¿¿ÀÙÀÙÀ