````````````````````       "Fun Intro!"                  -by James Hetfield.
` Nihilism Monthly '       "Mogel and bF: read me!"
`                  '       "Nihilism is Realism today!"
 `   Issue #01    '        "Nihilism Trivia!"                                        
  `              '         "Nihilist Cafe"             ___        ` '
    `          '           "Why this issue sucks"  __O_/           '
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    /'`' |  `'`\                `O'_                           (_|o  |_)
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        Well, to start things off, I'll begin by showing a little
chat I had with the sysop of The Land of Rape and Honey, Rattle.  That 
should clear a few things up about why this 'zine is going to exist.


JH> Ok.  Kewl.  Hi Rattle.  I'm James Hetfield.

RA> yea?

JH> I got some lame news, I'm done with this new zine stuff.

RA> why?

JH> Because I'm trired of dealing with people with egos as big as mine.  I 
JH> don't think 3 of us could stand each other for too long.  So I'm cutting 
JH> out, a la pip the angry youth style.

RA> ugh..  i think ya shoudl at least stick w/ it for another few weeks/days..  
RA> things will work out.. they have to..  they must.. 

JH> Nah, I realized something... there's a reason that this stuff isn't 
JH> working, and that groups don't get GIGANTIC of overnight... beacause we're 
JH> all dreamers... this entire new zine is a just a big dream of mogel's to 
JH> 'finally show' cDc that that he's a someone.. it's an obsession almost... 
JH> and I think it's a silly thing to try to do, considering cDc is 9 years 
JH> older than this new zine will be.

RA> yea..  true..  so, what are you going to do then?

JH> Well, You're right now part of the big experiement... this entire convo is 
JH> being capped... for the first issue of the mystery zine.. I don't know 
JH> what it will be yet.  I have an idea however.  I'm going to start a zine 
JH> that has one member; me.  And I'm not going to allow submissions, unless 
JH> they're about the zine or something I can easily play off of.  I won't 
JH> allow people in the group.  It will be all mine. mine. haha.  Sounds 
JH> conceited, doesn't it?  Well, I was thinking, what IS the point of text 
JH> groups... to get the stuff to the public, right?  Well, what is the point 
JH> of having 1000 BAD submissions ALL of the time that never gets to the 
JH> public anyway?  It's kind of like "the rich stay rich and the poor stay 
JH> poor" in that effect, no one ever gets better because they either give up 
JH> (like many people in chicago did when they couldn't get in bigger groups 
JH> like BLaH) or keep trying, which is their own spirit fighting against the 
JH> odds.  And that's what this new zine will be about.  Me fighting against 
JH> the odds.  If I can keep it going, it should be pretty good, and it would 
JH> be all mine, so I'd concstantly be writing and becoming a better author.

RA> capped?   uhh..  fuck y0u?  :P..  its not a bad idea..  i mean, as long 
RA> as you keep writing..  i would have liked to see everyone (you, mog, bf, 
RA> etc..) workign on one zine..  but if you feel you will do your best 
RA> alone.. then do it..  who gives a fuck..  


JH> That's what I think... and right now, this new zine has already become 
JH> about missing deadlines, kind of like HoE was.. it's just a big pattern.. 
JH> I want to break that pattern before it's too late and I'm caught up in 
JH> the scary pattern that east-coast zines seem to have (hoe, pez, etc) 
JH> about not getting submissions, about not being happy with their zines, 
JH> etc... At least if I don't like my zine I can blame it on myself instead 
JH> of 'da scene' 

RA> yea...  you are going solo.. har har.. sounds like an ansi scene thing.. 
RA> :P  <just kidding>..  uhh..  sure.. i wish you luck..

* * *

        So, as you can easily see, I was feeling a big too annoyed and
way too political at the moment this 'zine found its creation.  The name
of this 'zine was one of the ones suggested to Mogel and Black Francis for
'THE BIG PROJECT' zine that was denied.  I really liked it, as you can 
see.  I feel it has a few layers to it, which every good name has.  But,
more to that in an essay coming up.  As for now, This 'zine consists of one
writers thoughts, ideas, and belefs.  If you can't handle that, hey, don't
read it.  But if you can, please enjoy.

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        This little area is directed mainly at Mogel and Black Francis,
but hey, anyone can read it, it's a free country afterall.

        This 'zine was not created out of spite.  This 'zine was created
for the main purpose of me to be able to spread my diseases and beliefs
about anything and everything.  I was beginning to feel like 'THE BIG
PROJECT' being worked on was not fitting those needs of mine.  I learned
long ago not to try to be like Swamp Rattle, or Guido Sanchez, or anyone,
to try to just be myself.  It's hard enough to do that as it is.  I will
continue on being the 'zine munching critic I always was and always will 
be.  And, I wish you both good luck on your newest creation, although
I have a feeling it will become a monster before it becomes a work of
art.  I simply hope you can figure out a way to contain all the angst
pouring out from within yourselves. :)

        Happy Trails, peace, love, and mangoes.

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Let's take a little peek at the world we live in, shall we?

(peek-a-boo!)

        In our beautifully capitalistic society, ANGST sells.  Turn on MTV,
one of the biggest breeding grounds for ANGST in the country.  A Soundgarden
video "Black Hole Sun" is on the screen.  Blood is flowing through the sky.
Little dolls are being roasted over an open flame.  And, of course, the
lead singer is standing there, wind in his hair, looking like a hero of 
our times.

        Where, exactly, did all this shit come from?  Well, that's a little
complex.  But, essentially, today's most popular art genres to rip off are
a combination of nihilism and absurdism. 

        Yes, I know you don't understand.  That's why I'll go on.

        Nihilism is the belief that there is "nothing to be done", to quote
a famous Samuel Beckett play.  Throughout history, philosophers and artists
have strived to find the secrets of life and why things are the way they are.
This is why there are different genres of art.  For instance, during the
industrial revolution, some people looked around and said "Gee, these
machines could destroy the world!".  They tended to dream about the wonders
of nature and the evils of industrialization.  They were called the 
Romantics and the Transendentalists.  Both of these genres were formed 
because of a backlash against the world they lived in.

        Similarly, in the modern age, we have lived in a world where
a few buttons could destroy mankind.  In the midst of possible world
annihilation, two distinct and opposing beliefs formed; existentialism
and nihilism.  Existentialism questions our existence, the whys, the
hows, and the whos.  But more importantly, existentialism is based on the
belief that things CAN be helped and changed, though it make be unlikely.
Albert Camus, one of the most famous existentialists, was constantly
working for nazi resistence groups, printing underground newspapers, and
many other political activities that made him a strong impact on the 
World War II era.  His writings are dark, depressing, but they have a 
message within them that mankind can save itself from itself.  

        Nihilism is almost a direct opposite from this.  I do not know
exactly the beginnings of nihilism, it's probably been around in one form
or another since the dawn of time.  Nihilism looks at the chances of world
destruction, and says "oh, I guess we're all going to die then".  There 
is no hope in nihilism.  Nihilists usually are athiests.  We live simply
because we exist.  We need no goals, no aspirations, because we'll die
anyway.  Those are the roots of nihilism.  

        Absurdism, mentioned previously, was started as a type of theatre
in the post WW][ era.  Samuel Beckett, an irishman, was one of the first
and foremost absurdists.  Eugene Ionesco is also an absurdist, although
most of his plays tend to make too much sense for me to consider it true
absurdism.  
        The most famous absurdist play, "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel
Beckett, is basically about two men who stand around the middle of nowhere
waiting for a guy named Godot.  Many people believe this to simply mean God.
We wait around from a message from God all our lives, until we die.  During
this time, we encounter strange people, such as the characters Pozzo and 
Lucky, but otherwise we don't do much else.  
        The absurdism lies in the actuall dialogue between the two, however.
Half of the time it simple makes little to no sense.  The idea behind this
is that it is actually more like real life; people do not always have 
conversations about something.  Most of the time we just open and close our
mouths and sounds come out that don't really form concepts or beliefs.
        Anyway, back to the 90s.  Bands, such as Soundgarden, use the
visual absurdism of their videos to produce a lasting effect on the mind.
The videos fly from one thing to another, each sight one that would not
be seen as usual or natural.  Each a disgusting representation of normal
day life.  
        The nihilism in modern alternative music is equally representative.
Very few songs are about how life is shiny and bright.  Which is fine, not
all of life is a big fun time.  But most alternative music takes it a little
too far.  Take Nine Inch Nails, the perfect example.  "God is Dead / 
And no one cares / if there is a hell / I'll see you there!" are lyrics
of a song (Heresy) which are quoted often.  There is absolutely no 
explanation behind them, they're just SCREAMED into your face between
loud and obnoxious industrial riffs and drum beats.  
        The point I'm trying to make is that most alternative songs these
days do not tell an entire story.  "You're gonna have to hold on" said
one hundred times in a song isn't telling a story through music.  It's just
words.  Now, there are a few exceptions.  I'd say Tori Amos does an 
excellent job of telling a story through her music.  Soul Asylum, on 
occasion, does this as well.  Most bands, however, Do not fulfill this
qualification if they're trying to say something with their music.  
Saying "More human than human" twelve-thousand times in a song isn't
a message.  It's a catchy phrase being thrown at someone without analysis, 
without thought.  It's just as bad as 1950s teeny bopper music in that
respect.  "Breaking up is hard to do" tells me about as much as most
Offspring songs do.  There really isn't art in it.      
        Just like nihilism, alternative music does not look at all signs
of a coin.  Both of them tend to have a message that there's nothing we
can do to save ourselves.  But they do not REALLY look at what they are
observing, otherwise they'd understand differently.

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Nihilism Trivia time!

See if you can answer these questions about Nihilism Quarterly!

1) If you saw a beautiful girl being raped on the street, what would you do?
        a) I'd find help for her quick!  Call the police!
        b) I'd try to help her out myself, knowing the police wouldn't get
           there in time.  
        c) I would try to understand what could make our world the place
           it had become, and try to better myself because of my new
           knowledge.
        d) nothing.  maybe I'd watch.  who cares.

2) What do you think about the brady bill?
        a) it's a horrible idea.  I belong to the NRA, and I believe
           it is an enfringment of my rights.
        b) I think it's a good idea.  It stops people from getting guns
           fast.  It might stop many murders that happen because of quickly
           purchased firearms.
        c) who cares.

3) What is your favorite color?
        a) Green.  Because I love the color of life.
        b) Red.  Because I love the color of chaos.
        c) White.  Because it is the color of purity.
        d) Black.  Because it will be what we only see when we die.
           Nothingness.  Emptyness.  Blackness.

4) What is your favorite type of music?
        a) Classical, because it takes forethought to create and it's
           beautiful to hear all those instraments in unison.
        b) Rythym and Blues, because I like to hear guys talking about
           fucking girls all the time.
        c) I don't care.  whatever is most popular.  And loudest.

5) If you ruled the country, what would you goal be?
        a) Educate the masses
        b) Save the environment
        c) Shelter the homeless
        d) nothing. who cares.  they're all thieves anyway.

And.. Finally... EXTRA CREDIT to the one that Guesses correctly on this one!

6) What are all the little ascii drawings on the top header of this 'zine?
   Can you guess what the one on the far left is supposed to be?

Any internesting, half-right answers will be posted in the 'zine at a later
issue and time.  

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        The waitress brought my cup of coffee and a small piece of 
cheesecake.  The cheesecake looked as if it had been sitting out for days,
as usual.  I didn't say anything, however.  What good would it do?
        "Anything else?"  She asked.  She didn't seem too interested if
I wanted anything else.  She probably just asked because she has to.  It's
her job.  She doesn't really care, she just wants a big tip.  So she can
go home to her small apartment with her small boyfriend and live out the
rest of her life miserable.  The dream we all live out.
        "No thanks." I mutter out, as I dig my fork into the cheesecake.
It's fairly hard, unlike fresh cheesecake, which is soft and buttery.
        A woman walks into the cafe and sits asks if she can sit down 
next to me.  I say sure, I don't care.  She takes the seat and throws 
herself into the novel she's reading.  Some book by Hemmingway.
        The waitress comes and asks if she wants something.  She asks
if the cheesecake is any good.  Of course it's not, but I'm not going
to bother to say anything.  It wouldn't help anyone.  Let her figure that
out herself.  She orders some.  The waitress tells her it will just be 
a minute, and walks off. 
        The woman asks me if I come here often.  Occasionally, I say.
I don't bother telling her I come here everyday for the horrible cheesecake.
She wouldn't understand anyway.
        She starts poking at her cheesecake after the first bite, because
it tastes so bad.  She doesn't seem to want to put any more in her mouth.
She looks up at me and asks what I do for a living.  I write, I tell her.
I'm not about to go into how I'm a journalist, it would probably bore her
to death.  And me.  
        What do I write about, she asks.  The world, I tell her.  It's a
simple answer, hopefully she won't ask anymore.  How's it looking, she
asks.  Fine, I say.  She smiles.  I guess she believed me.  Oh well.  I'm
not about to explain to her why we live in a ceaspool.  
        "Would you be interested in going back to my place?  I live close
to hear...".  She wants to know if I'll go sleep with her.  I barely even
know her.  She probably has diseases or something.  "I can't."  I tell
her.  Maybe that will quiet her up.
        "Oh... all right..." she says, and says a goodbye or two, and
leaves.  I finally get some time to myself.  I finish up my coffee, and
get ready to leave.  The cafe is almost empty.  That woman could have
sat anywhere, but instead she decided to invade my space.  Oh well.
It doesn't matter anyway.  It's over and done with.  I pay my bill,
and leave the cafe, knowing that I'll be back tomorrow to deal with
the same type of people, always wanted to speak with me for some
reason.

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        There are many reasons this issue sucks, I'm just going to mention
a few.  First off, it was written in one night.  This is because I wanted
to get out the information as fast as possible, so people know what is 
going on.  Secondly, I wasn't feeling exceptionally creative.  The future
issues should have a lot more creativity in them, as well as much more 
time put into them.  I expect to get about one of these out every two weeks,
give or take 13 days.  So, expect to be seeing a lot more from me, whether
you like it or not.  Finally, the issues to come will not be so 
stereotypically 'nihilistic' like 'nihilist cafe' was... They will have 
actually in-depth creative writing in them, as well as editorial comments
and critiques.

        But, for now, here's the beginning of, if not a legacy, an end to my 
udder boredom.  


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Nihilism Monthly 4.00  Copyright (c) 1995 James Hetfield.

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With your VISA/MasterCard, call 1-708-251-5049

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Another Bad James Hetfield Creation `'` Issue 01 '`' 18313 bytes