belong e'zine Well, I set out to do this months and months ago but I wasn't writing anything and no one was giving me anything so I was stuck with nothing.. but I managed to scrap some things together, nagged people till I got some articles, and here it is; belong, issue one. Perhaps the one thing that made this the hardest to get out was the fact that I wasn't giving any ideas of what belong would be about. That is because belong is a zine about you. Not stories of happenings but articles of what people are best at writing. I got what I wanted and I'm giving it to all of you. There is a big doubt about if belong issue two will ever come out. I would like to do more so if anyone would like to be a part of this zine e-mail submissions to pixy@wwti.iway.net. Where do you belong? #1 Invisible Cars - Puck #2 Die, trendy die - pixy #3 Them - pixy #4 The Drug User's Cookbook - styx #5 Message Box [311] - pixy #6 Enough - pixy #7 The Uninterupted Tale of Thomas Wyatt - Puck #8 Why I hate dto, With love - pixy #9 Untitled - Sir Robin #10 Them Fun BBS's - Maureen, lb, pixy, Puck Invisible Cars Puck So she was a poet, yes, in the sense that she had certain books published. Certain books and certain poems. But she wore dark nylons and crossed her legs. She didn't understand that if cars were all invisible, we'd look pretty silly just zooming up and down the street like that. So she was a poet, yes, in the sense that she had published certain books. -----> Die trendy, die pixy When I was little I had the most bizarre thoughts. I would play with my Barbie dolls all day long. My blue eyes glazed over, my blond hair in pigtails with Mickey and Minnie mouse holding them in place. I would be lost in thought playing so intensely with that fake haired, hard plastic, painted on featured doll. Her moves, thoughts, and clothing choices were all my doing. But I would stop and think "what if we, humans, were just like Barbie and Ken dolls?" Yeah, sure we can bend at the joints, we have mushy surfaces, and some of us are pretty damned ugly. Just stop and think about that. Well, the older I got, the more I saw that we _are_ like dolls. Our thoughts and actions are very much influenced by others. "du0d, red hair dye is so uncool, maybe like a week ago you were cool but _now_?!@#" I admit that I am a follower and not a leader. But there is someone who went too far in categorizing me by saying "you owe your personality to me." There is still little bits and pieces of the real me left. It wasn't all eaten up by trendiness. Someday I will gain my whole self back, but for now I am a typical teenager. But where do you rank? Take the trendy lamer quiz. 1) Are you a teenager? 2) Are you and your best friend clones of each other? 3) Do you try to match your outfit to what Jenny McCarthy wore on the last Singled Out? 4) Do you go places because you heard the "cool group" was going to be there? 5) Do you listen to a band and like them but suddenly stop listening because people say they suck? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions then you are a lame trendy loser and should get your own personality, moron. If you said no to them all you probably are still a trendy. You're on irc, no? Loser!@# Being trendy is a fact of life with growing up in the United States. Other countries go more with their ancestry and shit. But we go with what's cool. That's how it goes I suppose. Someday we all will be real; granted, we'll be old and gray, running around the house with our pants pulled up to our chest; but we will finally be ourselves. -----> Them pixy I hate this place. I know I am becoming weaker and dying because of it. But I can't leave. I know that the world will keep spinning if I am not here. I would still like to believe it wouldn't. Maybe that's why I didn't go away to school. Maybe that's why I end things before they can take me away. I hate this place and all it scars me with. They made me who I am. They gave me these eyes that no longer tear. They twisted my soul like a kinked garden hose. I blame them for every scar. She'll say she's perfect while calling me crazy. He'll be in his t.v. set gaze as I try to speak. I hate this place. It is why I have tried to drain myself of the evil. It is why I scream into the morning hours. I stay away like a vampire, searching for something to make me alive again, or to make the scars fade. Just as the sun rises I creep into bed, ending the search for that day. Tomorrow I will start again. It is why I lost my dreams. As I dread the coming wake, I see nothing. My body sleeping but mind is blank of which should be filled with pretend movies. Movies that only return when I am away from here. But I still feel homesick when I am away. It's not because I miss them or this place, but because I miss her, my 'daughter,' my niece. I hate this place because every day I have to try to make a fake identity. I have already failed at that. I have tried to lead an online life that would hide who I really am. But it's come out like I am a slut, or a bitch, or whatever. 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.' But if I can come off like a bitch, maybe no one will mess with me. Maybe one day everything will be o.k. Keep hiding who you are. Keep pretending it's o.k., maybe someday you'll love yourself enough to not want to grab a razor. This slow death will have to do because there has to be just one who loves you. Just one who will miss you. Just one who won't say 'you suck.' To that one: I love you. -----> The Drug User's Cookbook styx this is for those of you who want to do drugs but are too piss-poor to buy them. most people aren't aware that you can simulate the effects of any drug with common household items. however, i have listed only the more popular drugs. if you need any information on how to simulate the effects of a drug that isn't included here, feel free to email me at styx@magicbus.com. i guarantee a response. 1. LSD you'll need : can of gasoline, hammer minor requisites : trophies from extra-curricular sports activities in high school, pink floyd albums instructions: put on a pink floyd album. huff the gasoline rapidly for 30 seconds without stopping. when you're finished, take the hammer and slam it into your skull until your head is a mangled mass of bloody pulp. now you are having an intense acid trip. warning: if you don't kill yourself, you'll wake up mentally retarded in the morning. 2. marijuana you'll need : rolling papers, dirt, modem minor requisites : birkenstocks, grateful dead albums, rolling machine instructions: put on a grateful dead album. take some dirt and roll it up with a piece of rolling paper into a cigarette (if you are very stupid and cannot do this, use the rolling machine). smoke it. when you are finished, go online, hold your breath, and cross your eyes while you type. annoy everybody. when your face feels hot and you've lost all of your cyberfriends, you are really stoned. warning: if you don't kill yourself, you'll wake up mentally retarded in the morning. 3. mushrooms you'll need : meat cleaver, broken kaleidescope minor requisites : older brother, mustang 5.0 instructions: slice off all of your toes with the meat cleaver. when your legs start to tingle from loss of blood, stare into the broken kaleidescope for 15 minutes (20 if you're fat). when you begin to lose consciousness, write insightful poetry (quickly). now you are shrooming. warning: if you wake up in the morning, you didn't follow directions. 4. cocaine you'll need : coffee, pixie sticks, dr. pepper, chocolate minor requisites : rich jewish parents, white college hat instructions: drink 10 cups of coffee, eat 10 pixie sticks, guzzle 10 cans of dr. pepper, and eat a lot of chocolate. when you start to bleed out of your eyes, go hang out by the payphones at your local 7-11. ask everybody for cigarette money. throw tantrums. when you end up behind the dumpster with bootmarks on your face, and you're trembling too much to get on your feet, you are all coked up. warning: if you don't kill yourself, you'll wake up mentally retarded in the morning. 5. heroin you'll need : paint, paintbrush, canvas, lack of sleep minor requisites : small dirty apartment, velvet underground albums instructions: put on velvet underground. paint pictures of naked people until you're so tired you start vomiting. after you vomit everything and you just dry heave, shit and piss all over yourself. now you are fucked up on heroin. warning: if you don't kill yourself, i'll do it for you. 6. quaaludes you'll need : physically abusive father, draino minor requisites : no friends, syd barrett albums instructions: listen to syd barrett for an hour. when you're finished, kick your dad in the head so he starts beating the shit out of you. if he stops, kick him in the head again so he continues beating the shit out of you. repeat until the pain detector in your brain shuts down from overload. now wait for your dad to stop beating the shit out of you. when he's finished, crawl to the kitchen and guzzle draino until you can't breathe. now you are fucked up on ludes. warning: if you don't kill yourself, you'll wake up mentally retarded in the morning. if some items listed are not found in your household, there's something wrong with you and your family. do not request information on ways to simulate nitrous or i will hunt you down and smoke you. i take no responsibility for the consequences of your actions. the warnings are included for a reason. -----> Message Box [311] pixy Illinois Bell and plastic combs. Mirror glances. Fearing the moans. Living for free. Lighting that cigarette off that burning family tree. "I promise to love you forever... or, until I change my mind." "I saw your soul on the el tracks today." "Did you ever just think? Because I hate you and you never thought about it." "The naked world rules." What is a guido sanchez? If anyone can fill me in on the details of this person, place, or thing I am willing to pay BIG bucks. mail u311 with info. End [311] -----> Enough pixy I see you again and it's back. The weakness is back, the control you have over me. Oh baby, you'll never know. Fade away, I'd say. Those bright eyes, so bright they make me blind. So bright I can't see that you don't love me. But I like pretending all the same. Such a game we play. I can't justify the hate, but it's love. This contradiction, my confusion. Just fade away, I'd say. Oh baby, you'll never know, control, so easily over me. Never known the control. -----> The Uninterrupted Tale of Thomas Wyatt Puck Thomas Wyatt always thought his life was a dead-end loss. He worked all day in his dead-end job and he fought with his dead-end boss. Until, one day it dawned on him as he stared into the sink; He looked his boss right in the eye and said, "Be right back, I need to think." Thomas went home and thought for hours, hours melted into days. For weeks and weeks he searched and searched, so meticulous in his ways. The people of his town began to worry, his boss even said, "Mr. Wyatt's not shows up for work, I fear he's dead!" The newspaper arrived to get an interview with Tom, But nobody could get inside, not even Tom's old Mom. The doors were locked, the shades were shut. So cloaked in mystery was Thomas's goal, his lawn became a home for NewsTV. People everywhere began to wonder about this bunk that the news was spreading bout the thoughts that Thomas thunk. The business man, the working man, they came from far away, with the tiny glint of hope they might hear what Thomas had to say. For ten whole years the people waited to hear what he might say as he stepped out of his shadowed house to greet the light of day. For ten whole years the world's attention pointed at Tom's door, For ten whole years the children wore the shoes that Thomas wore. But ten years of waiting was not very fun and quickly became quite a bore. the numbers of people camped on his lawn grumbled and vehemently swore, "We're tired of this. Will he ever come out? What can he be doing in there?" And just as they were about to leave, out crept some bones and some hair. Out crept some bones and some hair, for Thomas had not eaten so well. His eyes were buggy, his nails were long, and he sported that "ten-year old" smell. He was not wearing clothing, 'cept maybe his glasses, But nobody seemed to care: There wasn't much chance of being exposed when covered with ten years of hair. It was then that the silence which covered the land was broken, a noise rather cross; as a pudgy man shoved people away with his hand, Thomas's ten-year ex-boss. "Ok, Thomas, what's the deal? Why have you kept us ten years? This better be good, this better be great!" And the people broke out into tears. "What have you learned? What can you teach?" begged the impatient crowd. Thomas squinted and waved his hand, "Please, not so loud. I'll tell what I've learned, I'll teach what I can, and I promise you it's worth your while. Ten years have I thought, Ten years have I sought," Thomas explained with a smile. He raised his long finger high above his head, and into the sun's blazing light. He started to speak, but his eyes looked confused, "Oh wait, no, that's not right. No, that's not right at all," Thomas said, and the crowd was as still as a mouse. "Sorry to keep you, but I've got it all wrong." He turned back into his house. "I'll just be a little while, I promise, and next time I'll have it all right. It seems I forgot to carry some digits, (I get kind of careless some nights.)" With this Thomas shut and re-locked his door, and fell dead, having tripped on his hair; unseen by the people camped out on his lawn. As far as I know, they're still there. -----> Why I hate dto With love, pixy O.K. dto sucks!@# Why? Why, you ask? Let's start with the 'inner circle' retards. First off the 'top' man mogel (he's probably really a bottom man ). Well, mogel nags me every other freaking day to write for dto and I always say no, why? DTO SUCKS!@# So, if little Mikey asks me one more time I'll shove his precious ramen noodles into his penis, dry. I'd say 5 or so cause that's gotta be thick enough to cause pain. "you'd have to touch it then!@#!@#" SIMMER DOWN, GOOSHY!@# Moving along... ahh jamesy, my best friend, the one who asked me to write this. Well... he's a cocksucker, always will be, but I love him anyway (yes, I have a fucker fetish coughgweedscough). So, I of course told jamesy to shove it when he asked me, cause it was for dto, but I decided to write it anyway. What do I have to lose? If it doesn't get into dto then oh well (which it won't and you'll read it in BELONG, my zine ;)) Finally, murmur. I don't know what his deal is. So, he does bucket. I've never read it, and I don't think I ever will. Butts! That's all I have to say about that. (Like my Forrest Gump impression?) (If I forgot any other 'inner circle' fags, sorry! I'm sure you wanted to be a part of my rip. You just must not have pissed me off. SMOOCHIES!@#) Enough of that. Now, the "quality control." Totally understandable for a great zine like dto!@#... but what they pick out as good sucks ass. Possibly just a few issues back I would have said: "du0d, dto rules! If dto had a penis I'd suck it!" (believe you me, sucking dick isn't my favorite thing to do). But as of late they've been getting sloppy. Maybe all the writers have writer's block and can't help it and this has been the best stuff but I don't believe that. I know there are good writers out there. So, it's THEM. You getting all this? o.k., good. Do you see how evil dto is? Stop being brainwashed!@# Love ya lots! -----> Untitled Sir Robin I found the one I love today, Just sitting over there. I went up to the one I love today, and we sat there. I talked to the one I love today, as we sat there. Then I found the one I love today, as they were playing. And when I said "I love you" to the one I love today, The one I love today said "I love you too!" -----> Them Fun BBS's Maureen, lb, pixy, Puck Welcome to the Chicago MatchMaker You may possibly match with 39,002 men and 4,208 women on the network! -> What is your sex? +> Female -> What is your sexual preference? +> Bisexual -> How old are you? +> 18 -> Have you had, or would you consider having a homosexual experience? +> I am homophobic. -> Finally, why did you call? +> Scouting out for swinging couples Try to describe the type of person you might be interested in meeting? (either romantically or platonically) ->someone with home and also a comb ->i prefer he have some hair and clean underwear ->he likes to eat white rice and doesn't have head lice ->lice, i mean tick and he better not be a spic ->he has no open sores he likes to hang with whores ->he cannot be a gimp and he better be a pimp ->he likes loiter and has a big goiter ->he likes to rant and preforms sexual transplants ->he very open hearted his children are retarded Describe your personality type? What type are you attracted to? ->i like abusive people who can get it up and knows the value of a good ->leather mask but no slanty eyed people What's the FIRST thing others notice about you? ->my goiter Where have you met most of your current friends? ->i met them in jail What type of work do you do and are you enjoying it? ->i am a prostitute and i love it Name some of your favorite Singers and Bands ? ->I like them bums who play in the subway especially yodeling zeke What were your favorite toys as a child? -> my mommy's happy stick Do you collect anything? (e.g. stamps, coins, dust, losers) ->used condoms (preferably with the cum still in it) If you have any pets, what are they and what are their names? ->flecity and lucifer, they are my finger friends If you could pick a super-human power what would you choose? ->to set fire to peoples and the plastic mans penis Have you ever accomplished anything that got your name on television, in a magazine, etc? What was it you did? ->Guiness Book of World Records: chicken raping (I raped 2270 chickens) Do you belong to any organizations/clubs/teams? ->I belong to the Black Panthers, the neo-aryans, NAAWP (National ->Association of Advancement of White People), and PETA (People Eating ->Tasty Animals) Write your own personal ad as it would appear in the personal section of a newspaper? ->5'1" 85lbs ->baby, i got back ->I am HIV+ but enjoy unprotected sex What are some of your lifelong goals? ->I hope to find a dumpster with a lid or a cardboard box that is water ->proof. I would also like to participate in the crack baby javelin throw. Is there anything about you that the questionnaire didn't cover? ->that's everything, I hope you love me!@# -----> All articles are property of the writer, used with permission. If anyone gets any stupid ideas from this zine, then you are a fucking retard. I nor any of the writers take responsiblity. Submit to pixy@wwti.iway.net. If your writing sucks, don't bother or I will put it in anyway for a good laugh. (yes, my articles are for a good laugh).