============================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1995-01 January, 1995 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: is called research,Ig Nobel,AIRhead ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) at The MIT Museum ============================================================ ----------------------------- 1995-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1995-01-01 Table of Contents 1995-01-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes 1995-01-03 Valentine's Day AIRhead Chocolate Gender Survey 1995-01-04 Correction: Mass Murderer Accreditation 1995-01-05 More Skinny on Internet Barbie 1995-01-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results 1995-01-07 Ig Nobel Interlopers!!! 1995-01-08 May We Recommend... 1995-01-09 AIRhead Events 1995-01-10 Calls for Papers 1995-01-11 Teachers' Guide 1995-01-12 What is AIR? (*) 1995-01-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1995-01-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1995-01-15 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*) 1995-01-16 Please DO make copies! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-01-02 AIRhead News Flashes and Flushes A. There was an error in last issue's notice concerning higher- level communications. The correct Internet address for God ends in .ORG, not .GOV B. On this, day 91 of the Official AIRhead Slogans Competition, the leading contender for AIR's official German-language slogan is "Luft, luft, nichts als is luft." Entries for any of the languages should be e-mailed to BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU As stated previously: [1] we reserve the right to ignore all entries in languages for which we do not readily have translators; and [2] we reserve the right to ignore all entries in languages for which we do have translators. C. Home, home (page) on the AIR On Tuesday, January 17, the AIR home page on the World Wide Web will be ready for your improbable reading pleasure. This delightful academically deviant work is called "Hot AIR." An ever-changing kaleidoscopic cornucopia of delights, it [probably] contains such useful data as: an X-ray image from our research project on "The Taxonomy of Barney;" images from various Ig Nobel Prize ceremonies; exhibits from The Museum of Burnt Food; the complete ancient archives of mini-AIR ("Stale mini-AIR"); photos from the AIRhead Time Caplet ceremony, and more. The URL is: http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena/org/i/improb/www/home.html D. The definition in mini-AIR 1994-10 that "an acre is the amount of land that an ox can plow under one man in one day" was misleading, if not inaccurate. E. The official first premiere commemorative etcetera print issue of AIR is now off the presses. It is therefore hot. Our AIRhead printer printed a not overly large quantity of extra copies of this historic first etcetera print issue. Therefore, shrewd individuals who subscribe to AIR before this little treasure trove runs out will receive the premiere etcetera issue as the first of their subscription. Hurry hurry hurry, for your children's sake and so forth. F. On advice of counsel, we will not, after all, be publishing Lee L. Franklin's treatise on "Obesity Among Feminist Economists: Every Tub on its Own Bottom." G. Because AIR is still so new, fresh, and partially gaseous, we are unknown to the world at large. Please help us change that. If you know of specific publications (newspapers, magazines, etc.) that might like to write about AIR, please tell us the pertinent info (name of the publication, mail and e-mail addresses, phone number). Names of specific reporters/editors are especially helpful. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-01-03 Valentine's Day AIRhead Chocolate Gender Survey In honor of Valentine's Day, we are conducting a survey of gender preferences for dark chocolate and light chocolate. Votes can be cast by visiting the Hot AIR home page on the World Wide Web (See section 1995-01-02). Alternatively, please clip the following ballot, fill it out, and e-mail your data to: BOURBAKI@NEU.EDU ============================= AIRhead Chocolate Survey Form ____MY GENDER IS: FEMALE ____MY GENDER IS: MALE ____I PREFER DARK CHOCOLATE ____I PREFER MILK CHOCOLATE ============================== NOTES 1. Due to reasons, we cannot acknowledge receipt of individual data submissions. 2. If you don't like chocolate, tough. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-01-04 Correction: Mass Murderer Accreditation The survey presented in mini-AIR 1994-12 contains data and/or conclusions that may be invalid. The research grant money was withdrawn during the final stages of analysis, skewing both the results and the researchers. Particularly suspect is the chapter reproduced here: VOTING PREFERENCES OF MASS MURDERERS WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE 1994 US NATIONAL ELECTIONS 82% voted Republican 7% voted Democratic 11% voted for themselves ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-01-05 More Skinny on Internet Barbie Many readers requested that we publish the full text of Donald Turnblade's essay for the AIRhead Time Caplet Interment Contest. Our contest was to determine "What/who should be placed into the Time Caplet?" The contest winners received nothing, as this contest was devised by AIRheads. However, their names and winning essays are included in the AIR home page. The home page also contains a separate list of items that were actually buried in the Time Caplet. Donald Turnblade's essay: "I propose that a symbol embodying the properties of the Internet be enclosed in the proposed time capsule. It should represent the interconnected-ness of the Internet, the human nature of the inhabitance of the Internet, the character of Internet communications, and the intellect of the Internet. Therefore, a half naked Barbie doll with fiber optic cables instead of doll hair would represent things fairly well." ------------------------------------------------------------ 1995-01-06 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include: ITEM #2022 (Submitted by investigator Richard Clark) "The Vision 2000 Program," study conducted in 1972 by the Tulsa Metropolitan Area Planning Commission. COLLECTION #ALM-9 (Collection of items manufactured in Brazil, submitted by investigator Marcos G. Almeida) "M2000," sports shoes. "Ginsu 2000," set of knives that cut anything. ITEM #2025 "Healthy communities 2000," book published by the American Public Health Association. ITEM #2026 (Submitted by investigators Jacques Therrien and Greg Erwin) "PS-2000," Canadian Government reform plan for the Public Service. ITEM #2027 (Submitted by investigator Paul Steckler) "ML 2000," computer programming language. ITEM #2028 (Submitted by investigator Greg Goss) "Century 21," American and Canadian realty company. ITEM #2034 "SimCity 2000," software simulation developed by Maxis, for city planning. ITEM #2035 (Submitted by investigator Eitan Rubin) "Education 2000," program by the Israeli Ministry of Education. ITEM #2039 (submitted by investigator Traugott Goll) "Design 2000," furniture store in Hong Kong. ITEM #62401 (Submitted by investigator Dudley A. Horque) "2000AD," British comic book. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-01-07 Ig Nobel Interlopers!!! Several of the Nobel Laureates warned us that this would happen. We were shocked, shocked to discover that a lobbying group in Washington, DC has issued a press release announcing that it has chosen the winners of the Ig Nobel Prizes. The group is called "Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM)." Neither AIR nor the Ig Nobel Board of Governors had any previous knowledge of the group. In short, we AIRheads have no connection with any would-be AIRheads in Washington. While we sympathize to some extent with PCRM's underlying sentiments (for example: we no longer advocate that monkeys be forced to become crack cocaine addicts), we cannot permit this group to appropriate the good name of the Ig Nobel Prizes. We must We must protect the purity and essence of the genuine Ig Nobel Prizewinners. It seems unthinkable that a group called the "Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine" would knowingly commit an irresponsible act. Yet, it has oft been observed that we live is an imperfect universe. The misappropriation of the name "Ig Nobel Prize" has already begun to cause confusion and consternation -- we first learned about it via a perplexed phone call from a magazine editor. Anything you can do to help get the word out would be appreciated by AIRheads everywhere. ADDENDUM: Perhaps you have an opinion as to whether this unauthorized use of the phrase "Ig Nobel Prize" was a responsible act on the part of the "Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine." If you wish to make them aware of your opinion, you can telephone them at 202-686-2210 or fax them at 202-686-2216 or mail polite letters to them at 5100 Wisconsin Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20016. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-01-08 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library: "Some observations on nitrous oxide cylinders during emptying, P.L. Jones, "British Journal of Anaesthesiology," vol. 46, 1974, pp. 534-538. (Thanks to Marcel E. Durieux for bringing this to our attention.) "Learning of Leg Position by Cockroaches in Response to Light," C. L. Harris, "Physiology and Behavior," vol. 53, 1993, pp. 313-6. "Lonely hearts advertisements reflect sexually dimorphic mating strategies," Del Thiessen, Robert K. Young, and Ramona Burroughs, "Ethology and Sociobiology," vol. 14, no. 3, May 1993, pp. 209- 229. (Thanks to Andy Stewart for bringing this to our attention.) "Dissociation between the calcium-induced and voltage-driven motility in cochlear outer hair cells from the waltzing guinea pig," B. Canlon, B. and D. Dulon, "Journal of Cell Science," vol. 104, 1993, pp. 1137-1143. (Thanks to Fred Wouters for bringing this to our attention.) (We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1995-01-09 AIRhead Events WILLIAMS COLLEGE, Williamstown, MA Mon, Jan 16, 5:00 The Log, Spring Street Info: 413-597-7482 (Barbara.J.Madden@Williams.edu) SCIENCE WRITERS OF NY (SWINY) Thurs, Feb 2, 6:30 New York Academy of Science, 2 E. 63rd St., NYC SCIENCE DISCOVERY MUSEUM, Acton MA Tues Feb 7, 3:30-4:30 A hyperinteractive presentation for kids and other scientists. Info:617-264-4200 NEW ENGLAND SCIENCE FICTION ASSOCIATION Feb 17, 18 or maybe 19 Sheraton Tara, Framingham, MA MENSA OF CENTRAL NJ Sat, Mar 4, 7:30 Sheraton, Woodbridge, NJ Info: 908-297-5492 matray@watson.bms.com 1995 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs, Oct 5 INTERSOCIETY POLYMER CONFERENCE Tues, Oct 10 Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942 *** If you would like to host an Improbable Research Event *** at your conference, university, research center, company, *** hospital, high school, or scenic mountain vacation home, *** please get in touch with us. --------------------------------------------------------------- 1995-01-10 Calls for Papers CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Chocolate Research." Reports of your research RESULTS are preferred to speculative essays. CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1995 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail. -------------------- 1995-01-11 Teachers' Guide [We might repeat this section in future issues. Then again, we might not. Please pass it on to any teacher friend who would find it useful.] Three out of five teachers agree: curiosity is a dangerous thing, especially in students. If you are one of the other two teachers, AIR and mini-AIR can be powerful tools. Choose your favorite hAIR-raising article and give copies to your students. The approach is simple. The scientist thinks that he (or she, or whatever), of all people, has discovered something about how the universe behaves. So: * Is this scientist right -- and what does "right" mean, anyway? * Can you think of even one different explanation that works as well or better? * Did the test really, really, truly, unquestionably, completely test what the author thought he was testing? * Is the scientist ruthlessly honest with himself about how well his idea explains everything, or could he be suffering from wishful thinking? Kids are naturally good scientists. Help them stay that way. --------------------------------------------------------------- 1995-01-12 WHAT IS AIR? (*) AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results." The new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited The Journal from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded The Journal in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world including seven Nobel Laureates. Each October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. --------------------------- 1995-01-13 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Amaze your colleagues. Delight your friends. Impress yourself. Subscribe to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)! Put more AIR in the lab, the classroom, the office, the waiting room, the library, the living room, the restroom, ...the detention center. And it makes a lovely gift of the most unexpected kind. =========================================================== =========================================================== Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research for a period of (check one): ___ 1 year (six issues) ___ 2 years (twelve issues) Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: Payment method: ___ Mastercard ___ Visa ___ American Express Card #: Exp. date: (If you prefer not to send your credit card number via email, please fax, phone or mail in your order.) ___Check (drawn on US bank) or int'l money order is enclosed. ___ This is a gift from: Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: ___Send renewal notice to me. ___Send renewal notice to my beneficiary. Rates (in US dollars) USA 1 year - $19.95 2 years - $34.95 Canada/Mexico 1 year - $27 2 years - $45 Overseas 1 year - $40 2 years - $70 Total payment enclosed: Send payment to the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), via Email: mitshop@mit.edu FAX: (617) 253-8994 Mail: The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA Phone: (617) 253-4462 --------------------------- 1995-01-14 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc.(*) mini-AIR is an monthly electronic supplement to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). It is available over the Internet, free of charge. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ------------------------------------------------------------ To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve issue 94-00006,send this message: GET MINI-AIR 94-00006 To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain mini-AIR, email us a request. ::::: Hot AIR on the World Wide Web The URL is: http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena/org/i/improb/www/home.html ::::: AIR extracts on USENET The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of Improbable Research. The material presented there is different from what appears here in mini-AIR. [Please note: The newsgroup is available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.] --------------------------- 1995-01-15 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA Subscriptions: (617) 253-4462 fax:(617)253-8994 mitshop@mit.edu Editorial: 617) 253-8329 air@mit.edu PLEASE include your Internet address in all printed correspondence. --------------------------- 1995-01-16 Please make copies! (*) We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is reprinted with permission. B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1995, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu) WWW Editor/Global Village Idiot: Amy Gorin (ringo@mit.edu) Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston AIRhead researchers: Nicki Sorel, Nickoli Mnot, Chip LaChien Authority Figure: Barbara Linden ============================================================ IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" ============================================================