============================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 1994-04 August, 1994 ISSN 1076-500X Key words:science humor,improbable research,Ig Nobel ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) at The MIT Museum ============================================================ ----------------------------- 1994-04-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 1994-04-01 Table of Contents 1994-04-02 News: Mysterious JSTEW, AIRhead for a day; etc. 1994-04-03 Interview with Linus Pauling 1994-04-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results 1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month 1994-04-06 May We Recommend... 1994-04-07 Upcoming Events 1994-04-08 Calls for Papers 1994-04-09 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) 1994-04-10 How to Submit Articles (*) 1994-04-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) 1994-04-12 How to Receive to mini-AIR, etc.(*) 1994-04-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*) 1994-04-14 Please DO make copies! (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-04-02 News: Mysterious JSTEW, AIRhead for a day; etc. 1. About that flood... If you received six or so copies of the previous mini-AIR issue, you are not alone. The problem, as many of you pointed out, was caused by the LISTSERV distribution site at alaska.edu. We apologize for the trouble this caused. Steps have been taken to try to prevent this kind of problem from happening again. Among other actions, we have ruthlessly, doggedly sought out and eliminated the mysterious JSTEW whose name appeared on each of the more than 120,000 spurious messages that the alaska.edu site sent spewing into e-mailboxes hither, yon, and elsewhere. [Much of our incoming e-mail was lost during the flood. If you sent us mail and have received no reply, kindly try again, if you have the stomach for it. --the (incompetent) mgmt.] 2. Inflate yourself. Would you like to be an AIRhead for a Day? We have prepared an attractively appalling flyer that describes AIR. We need your help in handing out or posting it at research conferences, academic meetings, on campuses, and in libraries, and rest room stalls. If you would like to help, please email us at air@mit.edu 3. Ig Tickets. Tickets for this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony go on sale on Thursday, September 15. For details, see section 1994-04-07 below. 4. Get behind in your reading. We are very pleased to announce that the first print issue of The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) will be published in December. A subscription form appears in section 1994-04-11, or thereabouts, we think, maybe. ---------------------------------------------- 1994-04-04 Interview with Linus Pauling by Marc Abrahams Linus Pauling, perhaps the most distinguished member of the AIR editorial board, passed away this month. Pauling is widely regarded as one of the giants in the history of science. He has been called the father of modern chemistry, and his pioneering inquiries have ranged wide and far in the disciplines of biology, physics and medicine. Linus Pauling was the only person who received two undivided Nobel Prizes. In 1954 he was given the Nobel prize for chemistry for his work on the nature of the chemical bond and its application to the structure of complex substances. In 1962 he was awarded the Nobel peace prize for his efforts to bring about the treaty banning tests of atomic explosives in the atmosphere. This interview took place last year. Q. To what extent did your schooling interfere with your education? I don't think it interfered at all. I think I was fortunate going to public schools in eastern Oregon and then in Portland. They were excellent schools, grammar school and high school. Q. To what extent did you interfere with your education? Very little. Only one episode that I remember. After I'd been in high school for three years and a half, having started in February - mid-year, you see - I realized that I could go on to Oregon Agricultural College if I graduated at the end of the term. There was a requirement that to graduate high school the student needed to have two terms of American history. I was always interested in history, so I signed up for American History A and American History B. The teacher who was registering said I had to get the permission of the principal. I went to the principal, and he said, "No," so I turned around and went out and changed the two terms of American history to seventh semester mathematics and eighth semester mathematics - trigonometry was one of them, and advanced algebra - changed my schedule and didn't get a high school diploma. So I interfered with the system to that extent. Then twenty-five years later, perhaps, I was given an honorary high school diploma by petition of the high school students. Q. What is the most intriguing experiment someone might do regarding human nature? I don't think I could answer such a question without thinking awhile. I have tried to. Q. Do you have any advice for young people who are entering the field? Well, I have advice for young people in general. That's a guestion I get asked reasonably often. I say you should look around carefully at the members of the opposite sex, and pick one out that you'd like to be with all your life. Get married young, and stay married. Then second, I say try to decide what you like to do best - what you enjoy doing - and then check up and see if it's possible for you to earn a living doing it. Q. Is there a third point? No. Q. Each year we present Ig Nobel prizes to people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. Who would you nominate to win an Ig Nobel prize? Well of course I'd be pleased to have [Edward] Teller get a second Ig Nobel prize so he could become listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the person who's achieved the most Ig Nobel prizes. [Editor's note: Edward Teller, the father of the hydrogen bomb and the foremost proponent of the "star wars" missile defense system, was awarded the 1991 Ig Nobel peace prize. The citation said that Teller had "changed the meaning of peace as we know it."] Q. Anyone else come to mind? Well, let me see. In personal science, Dr. Victor Herbert I think deserves such a prize. He was at Hahnemann and got fired because he got in a fistfight with the dean. He - Victor Herbert - is considered to be a great authority on vitamins, always testifying on vitamin cases, and he was on the food and drug board that National Academy president Frank Press fired when they brought in their report that the RDA's [Recommended Daily Amounts] be decreased. Then when the National Academy of Sciences had a new committee and got out a new report, he sued them for using some material that he had written - for plagiarism. I think that case has been thrown out of court. And he in a sense is responsible for my having spent more than 20 years in this vitamin field. He irritated me so much about 1969 that I sat down and wrote my book "Vitamin C and the Common Cold." Well, Victor Herbert is famous among orthomolecular nutritionists and physicians. You expect the Food and Drug Administration to be quoting him by just reading the reports, so they quote him as authority for statements that I think are just not true. Mr. Herbert seems to me to be a really good candidate. Q. Anybody else? Well, there's an anonymous referee for "Physical Review Letters" who said that a paper that I wrote should be turned down, a paper in which I talked about the cluster of nucleons revolving about a central sphere. He said a structure of that sort is impossible because quantum mechanics requires that the normal state (or any other state) be either symmetric or antisymmetric. So I wrote to the editor and said: "Here, this fellow doesn't understand quantum mechanics, and you're using him as a referee! He would say that a molecule of hydrogen chloride, for example, couldn't exist." I didn't get any reply to that from the editor. ------------------------------------------------------------ 1994-04-04 AIRhead Project 2000: preliminary results As announced in mini-AIR 1994-02-03 (June, 1993), we are compiling a list of studies, projects, and products that involve the number two thousand. Randomly selected items from the list include: Item # 5962 (submitted by investigator Mike Sell) Energie 2000, a project by the Swiss energy department. Item # 7088 (submitted by investigator Howard Frederick) "NORDIC TELEVISION TOWARDS 2000: INTERNATIONAL AND EUROPEAN PERSPECTIVES 1," a report from a symposium on Nordic television. Available from the Department for Media Studies, University of Bergin. Subcollection #902 (compiled by investigator A. Padgett Peterson) Shell Gasoline X2000 BMW 2000(A) Pontiac J-2000 Capri RS2000 M&M candies. [NOTE: Peterson is unsure whether Mickey Mouse (MM) qualifies.] Item #12906 (submitted by investigator Bob Sanders) Project Sequoia 2000 started up in 1991 as a joint effort by the University of California and Digital Equipment Corp Notation #9D (analysis by investigator Dale Murphy) The federal government documents referring to the year 2000 as a DATE, contract the date to 00, or double zero, or twice nothing, or however that should be read. I.e.: The expiration dates of passports issued in "90" carry as an expiration date of "00." Item #1381 (submitted by investigator Mark Hahn) INFORMATION 2000: a conference to be held at the University of North Texas. "Join us in Denton, Texas for Information 2000: An Interdisciplinary Future which promises to be an outstandingopportunity to interact with present and future leaders in the information industry." Item #3905 (submitted by investigator Angie.Johnson) New Life 2000, a program initiated by Campus Crusade for Christ Item #5959 Project 3000 by 2000, an initiative by The Association of American Medical Colleges (AAMC) to increase minority representatin in medical schools to 3000 by the year 2000. Subcollection #1225 Gateway 2000 computers Item # 6391 (submitted by investigator Nigel Birch) "Software 2000: A View of the Future," the output of a forum sponsored by ICL and the Commission of the European Communities. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month An item of interest, selected randomly from the MIT Museum's collection of Hacks, Tomfoolery & Pranks. (The taxonomic and analytical text has been prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr.) ITEM #344-521-1700-9 This home-made electronic dvice, powered by a 9-volt battery, was used by an MIT student to control the movable chalkboards in his classroom from his seat. ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-06 May We Recommend... Research reports that merit a trip to the library: "The Dielectric Properties of Meat" by B. Bodakian and F. X. Hart, "IEEE Transactions on Dielectrics and Electrical Insulation", Vol. 1, No 2, April 1994. The abstract reads in part: "The permittivity and conductivity of beef and chicken samples were measured in the frequency range of 1 Hz to 1 MHz. Differences were observed in these dielectric spectra for commercially purchased, as compared to freshly slaughtered samples." (Thanks to Anders Larsson for bringing this and the next citation to our attention.) "A Classification of Pure Malt Scotch Whiskies" by F. J. Lapointe and P. Legendre, "Applied Statistics", Vol. 43, No 1, pp. 237-257, 1994. The authors introduce their study thusly: "Single malts are well known by amateurs to differ widely in nose, colour, body, palate and finish. The layman interested in discovering the diversity of these tasting sensations may wonder how to approach the problem: what are the main types of single-malt Scotches, and in what way do they differ? This is the type of question that came to us after acquainting ourselves with single-malt whiskies during and after the 3rd Conference of the International Federation of Classification Societies held at Heriot-Watt University in Edingburgh, Scotland, in August 1991." (We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.) ----------------------------------------------------------- 1994-04-07 Upcoming Events MENSA OF NEW HAMPSHIRE Sunday, Sept 11, 5:30 For info: Judy Swank w: 508-777-2460 h:603-888-9114 MIT ALUMNI/AE CLUB OF LONG ISLAND date TBA U RHODE ISLAND, Kingston Sept 30, 3 pm Pastore Hall Auditorium (Chemistry Dept.) Spons. by URI Sigma Xi and URI Dept. of Chemistry For info: Prof. Louis J. Kirschenbaum kirschenbaum@chm.uri.edu 401-792-2340 IG NOBEL TICKETS go on sale Thurs., Sept. 15, 10:00 am. Tickets for this year's ceremony go on sale at 10:00 am. sharp at the MIT Museum Shop in The MIT Student Center. The price is $2 per ticket. There will be a strict limit of five (5) tickets per person. We have been asked to remind you that scalping is illegal in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. HISTORY OF THE IG -- a rambling seminar Fri., Sept. 16, 3 pm. A seminar explaining and obfuscating the achievements of past Ig Nobel Prizewinners. Takes place at the MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA. For info telephone (617) 253-4444 1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs. evening, Oct. 6 Kresge Auditorium, MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are cordially invited to attend. Lab coats an other ceramonial regalia are recommended but by no means required. This year underwear, too, is optional. POST-CEREMONY LIVE IG RADIO Fri. afternoon, Oct. 7 National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast an hour of live interviews with Ig Nobel Laureates, Nobel Laureates, and hecklers who participated in the previous night's ceremony. Check your local NPR station for broadcast time. GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD Fri., Oct. 28 MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29 For info: Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651 SCIENCE FRIDAY IG BROADCAST Fri., Nov. 25 "Talk of the Nation/Science Friday" will broadcast a (nearly) complete recording of this year's Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Check your local NPR station for broadcast time. INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10, 1995 Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942 *** In honor (?) of the book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble," Marc Abrahams, editor, (Workman Publishing, ISBN 1-56305- 312-8), containing outstanding work previously produced by AIRheads and their collaborators, the books's editor and many of its other authors are barnstorming North America, doing readings/slide shows and presenting current trends in improbable research. If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable Science Event at your city, university, hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact the editor. ------------------------------------------ 1994-04-08 Calls for Papers CALL FOR PAPERS concerning research on the effectiveness of (a) soda pop, (b) Gatorade, or (c) Skin-So-Soft lotion as microbiological culture growth media. Please include and specific detailed results and b/w photos. CALL FOR SLIDES AND X-RAYS that show unexpected shapes (swans, chickens, elephants, the Eiffel Tower, dogs, fish, smiley faces, ships, trains, Bart Simpson, Margaret Thatcher, etc., etc.). The most outstanding of these will appear on the cover of AIR. CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail. ****************************************************************** 1994-04-9 Purpose of mini-AIR (*) The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news about improbable research and ideas. Specifically: A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research. B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. C) News about other science humor activities intentional and otherwise. WHAT IS AIR? (An introduction, of sorts) AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published by the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. The editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world including seven Nobel Laureates. EAch October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. ---------------------------------------- 1994-04-10 How to Submit Articles (*) The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) publishes original articles, data, effluvia and news of improbable research. The material is intended to be humorous and/or educational, and sometimes is. We look forward to receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send biological samples. Photos should be black & white if possible. Reports of research RESULTS, modest or otherwise, are preferred to speculative proposals. Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. Articles intended for mini-AIR should be much shorter. Please send two neatly printed copies. Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format. Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge receipt of printed manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE. --------------------------- 1994-04-11 How to Subscribe to AIR(*) Catch up on things you need to know: The Taxonomy of Barney * A Natural History of the Articulated Lorry * Effectiveness of Chinese Fortune Cookies * A Review of the Nairobi Telephone Directory * The Aerodynamics of Potato Chips * The Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony * Scientific Gossip * Nobel Thoughts (offbeat interviews with Nobel Laureates) * Elegant Results (reviews of cosmetics ads) * Hot Air (exhalations from our readers) * X-Rays of the Rich and Famous * and then some! The first issue of AIR will appear in December, 1994. Join us as a subscriber, and as a collaborator! =========================================================== =========================================================== Please send a subscription to The Annals of Improbable Research for a period of (check one): ___ 1 year (six issues) ___ 2 years (twelve issues) Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: Payment method: ___ Mastercard ___ Visa ___ American Express Card #: Exp. date: (If you prefer not to send your credit card number via email, please fax, phone or mail in your order.) ___Check (drawn on US bank) or int'l money order is enclosed. ___ This is a gift from: Name: Addr: Addr: City: State: ZIP: Country: Phone (voice): FAX: Email address: ___Send renewal notice to me. ___Send renewal notice to my beneficiary. 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Here are two examples: SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky To stop subscribing, send the following message to the same address: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR To obtain a list of back issues, send this message: INDEX MINI-AIR To retrieve a particular back issue, send a message specifying which issue you want. For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001,send this message: GET MINI-AIR 94-00001 To obtain a somewhat complete list of gopher sites that maintain mini-AIR, email us a request. ::::: AIR extracts are on USENET The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of Improbable Research. The material presented there is different from what appears here in mini-AIR. [Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.] --------------------------- 1994-04-13 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses Our mailing address: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) The MIT Museum 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA (617) 253-4462 fax: (617)253-8994 Editorial matters: (617) 253-8329 PLEASE include your Internet address in all printed correspondence. Our Internet addresses: Editorial matters: air@mit.edu Ig Nobel matters: ig@mit.edu --------------------------- 1994-04-14 Please make copies! (*) We urge you to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from it. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is reprinted with permission. B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for commercial purposes. ------------------------------------------------------------ (c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research ------------------------------------------------------------ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu) Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn Sports Desk & Technical Support: Christopher Small (chris@das.harvard.edu) Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick Technical Difficulties: Diego Garcia, Francesca Thurston Authority Figure: Barbara Linden ============================================================ IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" ============================================================