%%% %%% %%%% %%% %% %%%%% %%%% %%%% %% %%%% %% %% %% %% %%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% %% % %% %% %% %%%% %% %% %% %% %%%% %% %%% %%%%% // // //// ////// ////// // \\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ // /// // //////// ////// ////// // \\\\ \\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ /// /// // // // // // // [ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #00, File #80 ] [ "Surfing the Night Away" by Mustaine ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Surfing the Night Away [mustaine] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's three in the morning on a colder than average spring day. The screen in front of Joe Schmoe is refreshing faster than the human eye will ever be able to see without the aid of technology. The modem that is attatched to the computer Joe is using is humming gently, and there is no one else around. Joe is in the University Computer Lab, staring at a several simultaneous windows open on his desktop. One screen shows a IRC channel scrolling away with hundreds of people trying to get a word in about the topic "WAREZ." Another shows a web page, with 4,000 different shareware games ready to be downloaded. Yet another has a e-mail program flashing news that 4 new mail items have appeared in the inbox. Further still, there are windows open with a word processor with a half typed report, a multi-user dungeon game, and lastly, there's a window with a report from a znol (zephnr utility) search of online people matching an .anyone file. Joe's eyes are cracked red with blood, and he stares in a manner not unlike a truck driver that has been on a anti-sleep pill for over 48 hours. In another three hours, Joe will rip himself from the computer, catch a dougnut at the University Cafeteria, and finally collapse into slumber in the back of a lecture hall for his 8:00 class. * Insert Mustaine's bitching here... * (Like you didn't know it was coming! Pa-LEEZ) Sounds pretty sick huh? Sounds like a real loser huh? Sounds like one of those f*cked up nerd geeks that the local news channels run internet specials on every month, right? AM I CLOSE PEOPLE? Well, let me tell you how close I am. (And you know I'm close.) Take out the "..nerd geeks.." part, and insert AVERAGE COLLEGE STUDENT, and the above statement was extremely valid. So valid it makes me sick. People these days are discovering something wonderful that has been emerging over the last few years as a new frontier for mankind. Of course, I'm talking about the internet. Yes, the wonderful internet, where you can do almost everything...EVEN SEX in a manner... without ever leaving the comfort of your rocking chair. Of course, I've been told cybersex usually includes one hand OFF the keyboard, BUT DON'T ASK ME. I abstain, thank you. In this discovering, they are also becoming addicted. And it's not too hard, either. There are so many things available, so many things at a "instant gratification" level, that the internet is like a drug. A very legal drug too. Taken in small doses, I can see this drug as usefull, a learning experience, even a step forward for mankind. Overabused, and it will turn the average person into a sniveling, sleepless zombie who has no f*cking clue what is going on in the real world. Wake up people. Go read a book, take a walk, or hang out with friends. F*ck with the people at McDonald's, or write your President hate mail...USING SNAIL MAIL... Drink soda, exercise for twenty minutes, play with furry animals. DO SOMETHING. But please, turn off the computer and do a reality check. Do you need a new to be sitting at a screen for HOURS and HOURS? Do you need that new shareware utility the SECOND it comes out? Do you have to check e-mail every five minutes? GO. NOW. AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU DO A REALITY CHECK. la la de la la la, la de la la la. la la de la la la, la de la la la. Papa Smurf ate Smurfette every night. (the question is: sweet or sour?) la la de la la la, la de la la la la la de la la la, la de la la la. (If your still reading this, your one of the f*cking losers I was talking about when I wrote this. Go rent a clue, and get the f*ck off the computer.) Handy smurf did himself, and Brainy smurf created a VMRL smurf image to get off with. la la de la la la, la de la la la la la de la la la, la de la la la Musty Smurf has a girlfriend. He is tied up with a lot of school crap. Musty Smurf needs more writers, la de la la la. ============================================================================== Call Omniverse, the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 718-0225 ==============================================================================