s$ $$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1078 [-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --] $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "My Alligator Dancing Shoes" $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by, Rhea $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 05/15/00 [-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --] $$ $$ "TssT" "TssT" baBOOM baBOOM baBOOM baBOOM strange things were coursing through me, I swear it baBOOM baBOOM and it was more than just the frenzied frantic frustrating rhythm of my heart beating that made me so crazy. baBOOM it kind of made me crazy kind of made me baBOOM baBOOM kind of made me want to dance. Things started. Life was sick of dancing with me because I barely even shuffled my feet and the rhythm, the baBOOM in me, wasn't too easy to groove to. I just wasn't where it's at, I guess. All I can say is that some things _didn't_ start, too, and probably never will. Where it's at baBOOM this scat that baBOOM baBOOM that was kind of making me crazy. baBOOM baBOOM baBOOM -- I used to think that _that's_ what makes the world go round, that rhythm of life of fucking life of fucking of -- Strange things were coursing through me. That is... if the world _is_ round, I thought. I was thinking, how do you even _know_ the world is endless? How do you know it's round and round and round? As if the pulsing baBOOM baBOOM didn't make me nauseous enough, I thought. I was dizzy, too, now, and it was kind of making me crazy. I remember thinking, how do you know the end of the earth isn't somewhere in the middle of the unchartered Australian outback or something? It probably is, I thought! Yes. I decided it was. Then I thought, _that's_ why Crocodile Dundee is so fucking smart! Yeah, I always saw those deep crevices in his thick, brown leathery skin and guessed there was some kind of strange wisdom hidden there, like a fountain of knowledge dancing in there, right in his ruggedly handsome masculine face, to a rhythm I always wanted to hear. Crocodile Dundee, king of the Aussie outback, has been face to ruggedly handsome face with the end of the earth. The end of the earth is where it's at, hey! it's always been flat baBOOM baBOOM this scat baBOOM those Australian bats that he could call so easily. Okay, so I admit it, I was kind of in love. Maybe it was _that_ crazy energy that was coursing through me so strangely, combined with the beating of that round fleshy organ in the middle of my chest that made the blood pulse through my body. Dying? Living? His hand pressed so sensually against the hollow of my wrist, feeling the pulse, the rhythm, the groove -- and then starting to move... those thick, callused hands had wrestled crocodiles! It was too exciting to bear, the thought of Crocodile Dundee holding the big jaws of a writhing, leathery beast shut and controlling the frantic movements beneath him with the weight of his strong, powerful body. That's a dance if nothing is a dance... human against nature... just two living creatures dancing with each other and writhing with each other and moving with each other to a baBOOM baBOOM rhythm of life and okay, so I admit it, I was kind of in love. And it was kind of making me crazy. Things started. Crocodile Dundee and his troupe of absurd alligators started hunting me, I think, and yeah that was a completely different kind of excitement, but it was strange, too. My blood was tingling and strange things were coursing through me and maybe it was the rush of adrenaline in the chase that made me feel so _alive_. The beating of my heart was getting faster and faster as I ran and I remember feeling it pulse through my forehead. It was throbbing, and my ears felt a kind of throbbing too, almost, as the warm pulsing tingling blood rushed to my head. They say to run zig-zag when an alligator is chasing you. I think I remember Crocodile Dundee whispering that in my ears on one steamy Australian night, and of course I remembered. baBOOM baBOOM I remembered everything that wild passionate man ever told me with his gruff but sensual voice, thick with that Aussie twang that just thrilled me so much. Thrilled me. The thrills were coursing through me and it was strange. I never even really knew how to dance. I guess I always had the baBOOM baBOOM the baBOOM the rhythm inside me but I well I was too wrapped up in the dizzying world going round and round because I thought _that_ was what made the world go round. But Crocodile Dundee chasing me with his troupe of absurd alligators and with those dead crocodile skins hanging from his pack taught me that it was really _love_ that made the world go round, after all, even though the world wasn't even round at all! And what I loved more than anything was staring into the deep wise crevices in his ruggedly handsome face and knowing all the while that the end of the earth was in there somewhere -- in that vast unchartered Australian outback -- and that he had seen it. Yes, I admit it. I was in love with him. He had been where it's at and knew that it was all flat. baBOOM baBOOM this rhythm, that scat. But then, as he kept chasing me and as baBOOM baBOOM my heart rate increased and adrenaline and thrills and love coursed through me all of a baBOOM sudden things started. The absurd alligators who were with my ruggedly handsome love started chanting things, hissing things -- bad things -- at me. They were just angry with me for running zig-zag, probably, and I think Crocodile Dundee had whispered something to me about their anger but that must have been when his hand, so thick and callused, was pressed so sensually to the throbbing pulsing hollow of my wrist because well because it was kind of making me crazy and it baBOOM was kind of making me kind of making me crazy so I guess I forgot what he said... Strange things were coursing through me and it was more than just the frenzied frantic frustrating rhythm of my heart beat and it was more than the dizzying nausea of the turning world that wasn't turning inside the deep ravines of knowledge on his tanned, leathery face. Now it was fear. I looked down and saw that my shoes, my dancing shoes that Crocodile Dundee had given me -- he had pulled them out of his pack with those thick strong callused hands -- were responding to the hissing of the absurd alligators behind me. And that's when I realized that the dancing shoes weren't made of crocodile skin like I had thought, but of absurd alligator skin, and at the hisses and chants of the troupe behind me the dead alligators on my shoes were stirring back to life. They say you should run zig-zag from alligators, but things change when the alligators are on your own feet. Yes, things were starting. Strange things were coursing through me and baBobaOObaOObamOObOOBom now things baBaOBbaOOabmOaOOmb were bMOO distorted and BOOMbA the rhythm baOBaobBaooOOmO was disbOOmAtorted, too. I tried to run zig-zag inBaOMMa my danciOOMbang shoes but even the rhythm from my feet hitting the hard dusty ground of the unchartered Australian outback was disBaBOabOOmMaBoBAmtorted. So I stopped. I was feeling nauseous. And dizzy. Then my alligator dancing shoes started snapping at my feet, biting my feet, and my ruggedly handsome Crocodile Dundee and his troupe of absurd alligators were still running towards me. I couldn't move. It wasn't rhythm and now it wasn't adrenaline and it wasn't even love now anymore but it was kind of making me crazy. My feet were consumed with pain. Suddenly Crocodile Dundee shouted out to me, "Teach me how to dance real slow and they'll let you go," with his gruff but deep and sonorous voice, just _dripping_, absolutely _dripping_, with that thick Aussie twang. I was suprised. Blood was leaking out of my absurd alligator skin dancing shoes and the pain was consuming me. Strange things were coursing through me and still I was suprised because I'd never heard my ruggedly hansome Aussie love shout before. I just stood there. I was feeling nauseous, and dizzy, and it was kind of making me crazy. "I'm sorry for stealing your watch!" he finally shouted, even louder, and the deep wise lines on his tanned leathery face stood out even more, because he was frowing. The blood was leaking out into a big puddle that soaked quickly into the dusty, dry land of the unchartered Australian outback. It was probably starving for nutrients. My dancing shoes were still biting me and my heart was beating very erratically, very arhythmically, very painfully. "I'm sorry for stealing your watch," Crocodile Dundee cried again. I looked at my wrist, the same wrist that he had pressed his hand against so sensually, and it was bare. I had forgotten all about my watch during my craziness. But now I remembered, more clearly than ever, that it was the watch that had made my dancing just shuffling back in the beginning. The ticking and tocking of the watch had been pressed coldly against the hollow of my wrist but now it was too late, everything was too late. Crocodile Dundee, so smart, so smart, held out my watch to me, a pathetic pleading expression on his ruggedly handsome face. I could barely move my bleeding, painful feet, but somehow I managed, because I was sick of being crazy. I took a step towards him, and then baOOBaOmMAbOOmABaABOOmbOmAa tick I took a step tock baBOOaBmA towards him, and then the absurd alligators burst into laughter. It was a cruel, bad, mean hissing noise. And then even Crocodile Dundee, still holding my watch, burst into laughter too... deep, hearty chuckles. baOMaBAticktockBaOOM rhythms were arythmical and yes I was finally yes I was finally baOOMTICKBAOmAAtock falling falling falling into a pit that I hadn't seen when I took my step. Crocodile Dundee whispered, as I fell, "Welcome to where it's at" and then he threw a dead crocodile skin -- one that he had wrestled to death with his bare hands, so strong and callused, as it writhed beneath his strong powerful body -- into the end of the earth after me. He threw it in after me so that if I looked up towards the unchartered Australian outback that I had fallen from, I couldn't see the sky... all I could see was the crocodile skin falling after me. And I could hear the laughter. And the rhythm -- I could hear that, too, baBOOmtickbaBOOMtock, mixed in with the laughter. They all melted together, as I fell. It became the strangest music... it was so strange, and it was coursing through me, this music. It wasn't dancing music, but that was okay, because my feet were too mangled to dance, and anyway, I was falling. I was falling to the strangest music, coursing through me. At least I wasn't crazy anymore. Crocodile Dundee had tricked me into falling off the end of the earth, and the strangest music was coursing through me, but at least it wasn't making me crazy anymore. ...and I fell, and I fell, and I fell... ...and then I remembered! I remembered where I had heard the music before! It was just the music played during the credits of a dumb movie I had seen one day called "Crocodile Dundee." ...and I guess it had kind of made me crazy. [-------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1078, BY RHEA - 5/15/00 ]