_____________________________________________________________ //~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\ || PURE ANARCHY!!!!!! /| SATAN |\ BOMBZ HARDCORE!! || || ___ ___ | | IS LORD | | _______________ || || |$$$| HOE 1014 |$$$| \`\ !!!!! /'/' |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$| || || |$$$| 01/30/00 |$$$| \ `---------' / |$$$|~~~~~~~~~~~ || || |$$$|__________|$$$| / /\ /\ \ |$$$| LOTSA BOOM || || |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$| | '' `` | |$$$|___ 2 FUCK || || |$$$$/~~~~~~~~\$$$$| \ ` ' / |$$$$$$$| YA SHT || || |$$$| TRUE |$$$| `\ /' |$$$|~~~ UP!!!! || || |$$$| TERORISM |$$$| 666 `\ /' 666 |$$$|___________ || || |$$$| INSIDE!! |$$$| ___/'`---'`\___ |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$| || \\ ~~~ ~~~ HOGZA DA ENTROPY! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ // \\ YEAH BOYEE@#! H/P/A/V/C IN DA MOTHAFUCKIN HAUSZ#@!@$ // \\--------------------------------------------------// \\ "HOW TO FUCK UP SOME SHiT AND // \\ GET HiGH AS SHiT WiTH WiTCHCRAFT" // \\ by Killer Kreid // \\__________________________________// Greetings, dark souls! Killer Kreid welcomes you again to another issue of "HOW TO FUCK UP SOME SHIT AND GET HIGH AS SHIT Magazine." In this issue (#3!!!), entitled "How to Fuck Up Some Shit and Get High as Shit with WitchCraft," I will reveal to you, in my soulless way, How YOU (yes, you!) can fuck up some shit and get high as a motherfucker... ...with witchcratf! Now, hardcore "witchcraft-artists" rarely use the word "witchcraft". Instead, they say something like "WICCA" or "NYGGAH" or like a "WYCCAN" is someone who's like a witch. But forget that shit, because it doesn't matter to you and me. All the people who say that are a bunch of black-makeup wearing faggots. They don't do jack shit except frown a lot and light gay-ass bonfires in the woods and get their skinny asses kicked in the woods by me. No, I'm not talking about being a faggot witch. I'm talking about being a cool-ass scary witch like the Blair Witch. Remember how she scared the shit out of those kids and then totally fucked with their shit! Hahahaha. Anyway this anarchy file is all about how to fuck shit up like the Blair Witch, and also how to get high as shit! ARTICLE NUMBER ONE: Tent Box Plans Okay the "tent box" is a very simple box, actually it's more like an outdoor scene than a box, but whatever. What you do is, you go find some "kiddie kamperz" (I fuckin hate little kiddiez) and wait for them to pitch their tent and go to sleep. Then, while they're sleeping, you put a bunch of piles of rocks around their tent. I would say put 13 there, but usually there are about enough rocks around for 4. But think, 1 + 3 = 4! Evil works in mysterious ways, my friend. Don't forget to run around real fast in the leaves so the kiddiez get scared! And if they come out of their tent, and here's the important part, you JUMP UP FROM BEHIND THEM AND DRIVE A SAWED-OFF BROOMSTICK THROUGH THEIR LITTLE HEARTS! If your kiddiez are too frightened to come out of their tent, don't worry. This just means you have a bunch of fuckin pussy-assed kiddiez on your hands. If this happens, just fuck with them a lot and then steal one of their friends and take them to that old shack in the woods that you've been living in. Eventually, the little pussy's friends will come to rescue them, and that's when you paralyze them with fear and execute them one by one. If you want to freak them out, don't let them ever see you. Like this one time I had this big giant zit on my nose and I didn't want the kids to see me because they might recognize me from school or something, so I just kept screaming "I CAN FEEL YOUR EYES!!! THE BOY WHO LOOKS AT ME SHALL DIE!!!" Holy shit, those kids were pissing in their pants. Also, a ski mask can be really scary-looking unless you have a tiny head or no neck or something. ARTICLE NUMBER TWO: Witchy Shroom Party Planz Ever try eating mushrooms and then walking around in the woods and slaughtering children? Holy shit, every time I do that, I feel like I'm gonna turn into the devil or something. Ever get that voice in your head that keeps saying "SLAY ALL CHILDREN IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD SATAN SLAY ALL CHILDREN IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD SATAN..." and on and on? Well, if you're on shrooms, it gets even louder! Sometimes I like to have my friends over and have a "Witch's Brew Party" in the old shack in the woods. I make a tea with shrooms and acid and 160-proof vodka and tang, and all my friends and I go crazy and paint witch stuff and swastikas all over the house or wherever we're hanging out. I usually can't remember what I've done after a couple of pints of witch's brew in the early evening. THAT'S IT MOTHERFUCKERS Well, that about covers it. You got mad anarchy planz and you KNOW you're getting high as shit next Friday night. Killer Kreid is OUTIE 666. Until next time... mwahahahahah! [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) HOE EZINE! WWW.HOE.NU! A-BEWM-BEWM! #1014 -> BY KREID - 1/30/00 ]