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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #857
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888              "I Secretly Love Quarex"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                 by Clyde
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               9/28/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        you might know me from the "ask clyde" advice column i occasionally
 publish in hoe!  i haven't published in a while!  even if i had, you
 probably wouldn't have read it anyway, because of summer vacation!  well,
 how are you!  now, i want to tell you more about myself! i secretly love
 quarex!

        a long time ago, perhaps 5 years or more, quarex was this incredibly
 silly guy who wrote music on his computer!  he released these music-files
 known as "modules"!  think of them as a lower-quality form of mp3s!  but not
 the same thing by any means!

        anyway, people could download these "modules"!  but since this was
 around 1994, or before, like i said, people weren't downloading them from
 the internet!  mostly, they had to rack up the file upload ratio points on a
 "bbs", or bulletin board system, and download them with a modem which was
 probably a 2400 or 14400!  do you remember those kinds of modems!  do you
 remember dialing long-distance!  do you remember trade wars!  do you
 remember 1994!  in any case, this one song that quarex released was all
 about pork!  quite a fascinating topic!  even though this song had
 noticeable features such as poor quality, no memorable melody, no clever
 "hooks" (get it!  hooks, pork, meat hooks!  heh heh!  wait, where's the joke
 in that!  i'm no good at this "wit" stuff!), .. anyway, you get the point!
 it was a bad song!  but that's what was so great about it!  back in the day,
 things could be so terribly bad as to be viewed as good!  in fact, it was a
 nice accomplishment of his!  he only had four (or was it eight!) channels to
 work with, and some poor 8-bit audio samples to work with!  plus, most
 everyone was using really noisy soundblaster cards, so even the great stuff
 sounded bad!  boy, i almost want to throw this pentium out the 9th floor
 window!  (good thing the office building i work in only has 6 floors!)

        i don't know what happened to quarex's musical aspirations!  but i
 haven't heard a new music from him in a long time!  yoo-hoo, quarex, are you out
 there!  where are your new mods!  where are your mp3s!  where have your
 musical dreams gone!  where is the question-mark key on my keyboard!

        so, now you know that i love quarex!  i'm sure he doesn't reciprocate
 my platonic, altruistic views, but that is fine!  i can live with that!

        now, if you're feeling bored, lonely, desperate, confused, happy,
 silly, mundane, useless, or just want to talk about bbs days, send me an
 email!

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!     HOE #857 - WRITTEN BY: CLYDE - 9/28/99 ]