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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #604
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                "When All Else Fails"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                by AnonGirl
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               5/6/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        When you run out of luck;
        when you lose your job;
        when you lose your house;
        when you lose your friends;
        when your car stops working;
        when they cut off your cable;
        when they cut off your internet connection;
        when your wife divorces you and takes all your money;
        when your children turn against you;
        when you lose your sexual interest;
        when your stereo breaks;
        when your tastebuds lose taste;
        when your family disowns you;
        when you lose your hair;
        when you gain weight;
        when your basement gets flooded;
        when your state gets flooded;
        when a tornado blows away your town;
        when fire eats your house;
        when fire eats your friends;
        when you have to pay the prostitutes to sleep with you;
        when your dog stops being loyal to you;
        when your cat runs away;
        when your ear and nose hair grow longer than the hair on your head;
        when your heat and electricity get cut off;
        when your credit bill is thicker than your wallet;
        when you lose your knack at Scrabble;
        when the voices in your head are the only ones talking to you;
        when you answer the voices in your head;
        when Knight Rider is the only action you get;
        when you have more rolls than the Michelin man;
        when you have more chins than Jaba the Hut;
        when you call the operator for someone to talk to;
        when the fruit you buy goes bad the next day;
        when your best friend is the TV guide;
        when Ross Perot calls you up just to tell you you're a loser;
        when the kids down the street egg your house everyday;
        when you become the town grouch;
        when you become the town drunk;
        when the ass-groove in your couch is more profound than your mind; 
        when you lose all use of your right leg;
        when you lose all feeling in your left arm;
        when you're no longer excited about your birthday;
        when your washboard abs become washboard flabs;
        when the only talking you do is to yourself;
        when the most exciting event of the week is laundry;
        when your water becomes tainted;
        when you run out of food;
        when all else fails,

        there will always be sweet, sweet nicotine.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   HOE #604 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 5/6/99 ]