'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #351 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: =========================================== ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: "People are Dumb and Stupid and Jerks !! ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: and Mean and Evil and Really Quite Cruel !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: and I Don't Like Them One Bit" !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by Squinky 12/16/98 !! !!========================================================================!! Ok, when Mogel asked me to write something for hoe, you know actually WRITE SOMETHING FOR HOE, rather than recycle old posts or my college transcript, I was like, "OK, I guess I owe that to you." Because, I guess I really do. So, what could I write for HOE? What could I possibly write for HOE that would be original and edifying and throw light onto a subject that's pertinent to us all as human beings? And I realized, it hit me in a moment of pure inspiration, I need to write a file about how stupid people are! So, ok, here goes: Damn, I hate people. They are as stupid as all shit. No one understands me anymore, and everyone is a gigantic cultural illiterate incapable of understanding the simplest references to things like Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball Z (or GT) or Hentai or James Joyce or Henry James or Allen Ginsberg. Just the other day, I said to this guy I know, "My name is Allen Ginsberg, and I'm crazy as a daisy." you know what he said? "What the fuck are you talking about? You're name is Jarett, and you aren't crazy at all." See? He's an idiot! I mean, ANYONE with even the SLIGHTEST inclination of CULTURE would be able to understand that what I said was a quote from a time magazine interview with Ginsberg & 2 others from the mid-to-late 1960s, when American was on the cusp of a social and political revolution. Or like, last weekend, at Thanksgiving, 1998, I'm sitting at the table and I'm talking about Al Pacino, one of our finest actors, and I do my impersonation of Pacino in Heat. I say, "Because she's got a GREAT ASS!" I even do the facial contortions and the exact same gesticulation that Pacino does, man, I've got it down cold. AND NO ONE FUCKING LAUGHS. NOT A SINGLE LAUGH. They're all a bunch of illiterate assholes. See, the problem is, as we move into the 21st century, our technology has numbed us to the important things in life. It used to be, in ages past, that people would be interested in the real things in life, like Love, Friendship, and Brotherhood. Now all people care about are cars and beepers and cellular phones. And oh yeah, LAND, man, all anyone ever thinks about anymore is LAND. It's because we've been numbed by this fast paced culture we live in, its effect is to serve as a general anaesthetic, making us blithely unaware of what's going around us. I call television the idiot box and the boob tube and the people around me get mad, because I DARE insult their fucking new God. Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, these things are ALL DEAD! The only thing that remains is Television! People worship it! You probably know more about the cast of friends than you do your own family! You fuckers! People are getting stupider! and there's more of them than ever before! We're slowly dying! Our culture is in the Winter of its life! Oh, god! oh god! Oh god! Well, I don't have much else to say, but I'd just to add in that I'M NOT TRYING TO BE ANGSTY AND I'M NOT ANGSTY. I've thought about this a whole lot, and I think my thought elevates me past the ANGST, and I'm not one of those people who are like, "THE WORLD IS COMING TO END! EVERYONE SUCKS! I'M SAD AND ANGSTY!@&($&(*$!@&*$&^*!@$&*^@!*(^@^&*($^&" This is serious cognitive thought you're dealing with, not some humble teen aged emotion. !!========================================================================!! OK. Well, the above is a demonstration of the NUMBER ONE TRAP H0E writers have the misfortune of falling into: writing a text file about how everyone is stupid and dumb and a jerk, and then claiming that they aren't angsty afterwards. Now, I'm not going to address the issue of whether or not these text files have any worth, or whether or not they're so commonplace as to become as mundane as pissing in the toilet, but I am going to address this issue of ANGST being viewed as a bad thing. Since I assume most people associated with H0E are illiterate, (including both writers and readers), I decided to put in the definition of ANGST in this file. But then, I decided I hate people who resort to dictionaries for justification, as dictionaries are little more than the misguided children of Samuel Johnson. Johnson wasn't attempting to keep the language static. Current dictionaries are. Oh what the hell: Angst. n : an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal freedom. You know, inherently, there's nothing WRONG with angst. People *should* be angsty. It's as genuine an emotion as love or hate or fear, which, I'm sure, the mention of has evoked the standard response from all you HARD CORE modem people out there. You know the response I'm talking about, you just muttered it beneath your breath. You stupid fag. So, I'm not particularly inclined to making the same point over and over and over again, which means this article is about to end. here's the sum total: HOE WRITERS WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE BEING STUPID, REALIZE HOW STUPID IN TURN THEY HAVE BEEN, AND TRY TO DISGUISE IT BY CLAIMING THEY AREN'T ANGSTY. Don't. !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #351 - WRITTEN BY: SQUINKY - 12/16/98 !!