'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #343 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Annoying Scratch"                       !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Glynis                             !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/14/98                                 !!
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        For as long as i can remember, i've asked tattooed people "did
 it hurt?" that's always the first question that comes out of
 eveveryone's mouth.  i mean, come on, this is a needle injecting ink
 into your skin, what else are you supposed to ask?  and for every
 person that i can remember, the answer is always "well, it didn't
 HURT...it just felt like an annoying scratch."  this is at LEAST 5
 people that said this.  an annoying scratch.

        the reason that i am writing this is to clarify this term
 "annoying scratch."  2 weeks ago i got a tattoo.  I've been wanting one
 for a while now, i've just been too scared to get one.  (i have a crazy
 fear of needles, and pain of any sort) but i was driving back from
 chicago with 2 of my friends and we were talking shit about how we were
 just going to go get tattoos the next day.  we werent REALLY going to,
 we were just trapped in a car at 3 in the morning.  so right before
 they dropped me off at home, andrea said to me "so i'll call you at 2
 and we'll go get tattooed"

        "ok"

        long story short, i end up in a tattoo place (in normal of all
 places), still convinced i'm not getting one.  of course by this time
 i've already gone to the ATM, copied the picture, and signed the paper
 saying i won't sue.  STILL CONVINCED that i was NOT getting this
 tattoo, i laid the $50 on the table and walked around back.

        i'm talking to the big scary tattoo guy about how much it hurts.
 here's the conversation...

 Me: does this hurt?

 big scary tattoo guy:  no

 me: but everyone says that about shots, and they're always lying

 bstg: no, shots hurt, this doesn't

 me: what about on the foot? i heard that hurts worse.

 bstg: well, i'll be honest with you, if this is your first tattoo i
       wouldn't reccomend the foot.  the foot hurts. you should get it
       on your leg.

 my brain: don't be retarded.  stupid people get them on the leg.  

 me: well i'm getting it on my foot. i don't care.

 my brain: hahahaha yeah right. billy billy billy

        so the next thing i know i'm sitting in the fucking chair with
 this guy holding my foot.  andrea and nikki are holding both my hands
 and i'm shaking like crazy.  

        ok now here's my problem with the term "annoying scratch":
 that didn't feel like an annoying scratch.  it felt like A FUCKING
 NEEDLE INJECTING INK INTO MY SKIN.  i have virtually no skin on the top
 of my foot, and this guy is digging into bone here.  I don't know where
 these people get "it doesn't HURT...."

        PAIN = HURT

        that was very painful, therefore it hurt.  from now on when
 people say it doesn't hurt, they are lying.  it's not annoying, it's
 painful.  tell them to shut up.

        so now that i've clarified that, you all know better.  and even
 though that is usually the first asked question, i'm in a completely
 different situation.  the first question I get is "is it smashing
 pumpkins related?"  i'm not going to answer that question.  then after
 i show them the tattoo i get "that doesn't look real. is it real?"
 fuck you.

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!     #343 - WRITTEN BY: GLYNIS - 12/14/98 !!