'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #339 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The... House"                           !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Meow                               !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/14/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        For a year now, John Appleton had been working on his house.
 Not the regular repairs you might expect, namely the implementation of 
 a computer controlled house enviroment.

        A house which would sense conditions, learn preferences, and
 adjust the surroundings accordingly.  Finally it had all come together.

        He walked into the main server room, nervous and excited at
 once.  Music and lighting followed him. He sat at the control panel,
 and began the startup procedure. A few moments later his creation was 
 born.  He took a deep breath, and issued the first command. 

        "computer"

        "yes john?"

        "secure the house"

        As electricity sped through the veins of the house, locks
 closed and alarms were armed like a domino effect. Security cameras
 aligned into position, and the matrix of the house began buzzing with
 high voltage.

        "the house is now secure"

        oh my god it was perfect, he thought. A vista of technology
 primarily to serve his needs. 

        "john... some.." the synthesized voice died out.

        "computer??? is something wrong?" he asked, considering for a
 moment the 12 months of hard work had been in vein.

        "sorry john, someone was smurfing the house.. i've re-routed
 now."

        He sighed with relief, easing his way to the refrigerator.
 "computer, let's celebrate" he said, cracking open a bottle of cheap
 champagne.

        "ok john, let me put on my party gear"

        "computer?"

        "that was a joke john, lighten up"

        John laughed casually, before consuming the last few drops of
 alcohol.  Night fever began playing over the speaker system, and John
 liked to dance!  *Everybody was kung-fu fightiiiing* da da dum dum.
 The songs just kept playing.  John sure was exhausted.  Hey lay back
 and admired the digital domain he had created before the champagne
 finally caught up with him.

        He rushed to the bathroom.

        "computer, quick! open the bathroom door!"

        "i'm afraid i can't do that, john"

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #339 - WRITTEN BY: MEOW - 12/14/98 !!