$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #177 $$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt. $$$$P $$$$ x$$$$ $$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$. $$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$ $$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$' $$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P' $$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %% $$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %% >> "What's Your New Year's Resolution? Huh?" << by -> FyFy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 31 Dec 1997 01:54:56 From: thuhuong@usa.net To: mogel@dto.net Subject: Submission Here is a short one that I quickly whipped up after exploring your great site. Hopefully in the future I may submit more if my mind comes to it. Anyway enjoy!!! --- What's your New Year's resolution? Huh? I want to be someone. I don't want to be the person sitting in the dark and talking to myself and wondering where everyone is going and what they're doing next. I want to be in the "in" crowd. I want to be the talk among the people. I'll be different. I promise. I'll change. I'll do whatever it takes. I want...I want... Yeah sure that's what you said last year and it never happened. You fuckin' screwed up. You're not strong enough to push yourself. You're one worthless piece of junk. Remember what happened last year when you went to that party where all the guys were checking you out. You totally freaked and started talking nonsense bullshit. You scared them away. You're crap! Don't call me crap! I'm not crap! I can change this time I promise. This year I'll be different I swear to God! I'll make it work. You'll see and you'll know I'm telling the truth. I want to change this time. I'm not dumb you'll see. Besides it takes time and everyone changes don't they? I mean I'm not a freak. They're are others who are way worse than I am. I'm just unique. Unique? You call sitting in a dark room and talking to yourself unique?! I'll tell you what unique is. It's being able to touch people with what you are and show them the type of person you are. What you're showing to people is someone who needs help. You're so pathetic can't you see no one wants to be around you? What do you mean? Help? I'm just fine the way I am. I talk to myself because most of time you're up there asking me a whole lotta questions. The incident with the boys at that party was mostly your fault too. I didn't admit it at first but now that I realize it, it was all your fault. You kept saying, "Go for it! Go for it!" That's why I started yelling. Then again I should blame you for making me the way I am today. You're the one who made me turn this way. Can't you see it's you who's running me. Me?! Ha! You can't even walk right without me telling you how to. I taught you everything you know. Without me you're nothing. If you wanna change, girl you gotta work with me. Not without me. Without me you'll be nothing. You'll screw up and be like shit. You think you know everything there is to know huh? Well think again. Who was there talking to you and comforting you when you cried, who was there to tell you that there is danger approaching, who was the one who patiently walked you through your problems and guide you out? Huh? Huh? Me! Me! I hate you! All you do is judge me! You never cared for me! You were always trying to be this goody-two shoe. You make me look like a fool in front of people. You want to take over me. You want me to become you. You know I don't want that. I want to be myself. I can learn to walk right without you. I can have others to teach me how. I don't need you. I can call someone else. Besides...I like being alone. You're the one always wanting to be around people. You know people scare me. But this year I'm gonna change. Promise. I'll get to know people better. People will see me. I won't yell and shout anymore and drive anyone away. I won't have you telling me what to do. Because...you'll be gone. -=Thu Huong Nguyen=- / \ / aka \ / \ / -=FyFy=- \ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #177 -- written by FyFy -- 1/4/98 *