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               $$$$$P           $$$$   $$$$  moo, oink, up your butt.
               $$$$P            $$$$  x$$$$
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               $$$$$$$$$.       $$$$P  $$$$     4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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               $$$$b  4$$$$b.   $$$$$$$$$$$       4$$$<          %%
               $$$$$b  4$$$$$x  $$$$$$$$$$$        4$$$$$$$$$    %%

                             >> "Dick Van Dyke" <<

                                 by -> Jubjub

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        so anyway, there's this comedian named penis van lesbian, and he's
 really funny.  one night he's performing and after the show this guy comes
 up to him and says "you're hilarious! i'll pay you $500 to work for me,
 what's your name?" so penis says "penis van lesbian." and the guy replies
 "oh.. that name isn't marketable, bye" and he leaves. so, the next night
 penis is performing and after the show a guy comes up to him and says "hey,
 i'll pay you $1000 to work for me.. what's your name?" "penis van lesbian"
 "i'm sorry.. that name doesn't sell" and the guy leaves. the next night
 penis does a show and backstage a guy comes up and says "i'll pay you $1500
 to perform at my club, what's your name" "penis van lesbian" and the guy
 says "ahh.. that's ok, we can just change it to dick van dyke"

                    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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    * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #159 -- written by Jubjub -- 12/17/97 *