F U C K E D U P C O L L E G E K I D S ------------------------------------------------------- - t h e p o e t r y v e n t u r e - ------------------------------------------------------- "It is difficult to get the news from poems yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there." - William Carlos Williams ------------------------------------------------------- ode zu allen Frauen, die ich habe, liebte jene Frauen haben nie meine Liebe zurUckgebracht i stood like a cold statue glaring out across the field of snow i could feel the heat of my pounding heart warming my body in the sub zero temperature i could feel the anticipation of the moment i could feel the desire i could feel love and longing there is so much i want to do so much to say so much to experience but i stood like patience on a monument unmoving as my desires built like a fiery storm within me i so wanted to run into the snow like the child i once was and be marry in my ways when i knew nothing of this torture called love i wanted to explode with energy sprout my wings and fly the skies as fast and furious as mortally possible i wanted to escape with loud music pounding against my ears i wanted to drink from the burning fuel i wanted to eat the madness but i stood there shaking in my silence letting the cold air pound against my chest i began to breath heavily i began to erupt with passion inside myself i could not stand to stand any longer if i did not act upon my emotions i would surely die of the one thing i have never truly had my legs twitched i could feel it coming the moment i have lived for was this it is this the time worth living for is this what i have come so far for allowing no more control of my body i began to run i ran through the field of snow like a bull in the run i ran with passion as fire leapt out from behind me i ran with desire as the angels came up to watch i ran until the final moment fell upon me i leapt into the air and tried to fly to escape and reality crashed down around me as i feel hard to the ground and i cracked the earth with that motion as i laid there i could feel the realization of why i have never achieved my goal ... i have never tried hard enough ... i never made that final action to obtain it i never tried long enough i never tried at all one of the angels stood over my broken form he unleashed his understanding against me and then he unleashed pain his elements struck hard against my skin they tore their way into my chest he looked down at my boiling heart and began to reach for it he didn't expect what i had for him no one expects what i have for them they never do as his hand met my heart an explosion occurred he was thrown back and all the other angels turned away as the light blinded them i stood up and walked over to the fallen angel i stared hard upon his smoldering body i looked at his burning wings and i looked into his face and he was crying i closed my chest put back on my dusty black coat and with an expression of distinct void i walked away and they let me go to this i wondered of myself if my love is strong enough to make the angels cry why isn't it strong enough for the mortals why am i so cold why am i so hard is my love unmatched in this existence or have i just not found it's return yet alas i am all out of tears and have no where else to go so i shall stand here looking out across the field of snow remembering the one time i acted upon my emotions the one time i let passion rule my mind i will see you again soon and when you look into my eyes past my soul and into my heart will you see a picture of yourself hanging in my torture chamber the only place left that lets me feel - rage-303 TEMPO FOR TEARS (IN STEREO) i think this will change my foot-groove view - fear surprised my by tapping my shoulder too many times in this ballroom decade; an experience to photograph for my children - to dance across new horizons and bridges with success leaning into my upbeat body. flesh covers my body, but I cannot sing - radio stations tucked me into bed each night while cold shivers forsake my physical needs; another emotional melody to sway with - rhythm in my words destroyed by shy situations in attempts to waltz away from solo pain. nothing too fast for this awkward dreamer - stars point for my feet to settle onto the ground instead of trying to fly from rejection faces; there are goddesses and mermaids calling - arrangements must not be scripted or recorded, but i cannot improvise dreams for public performance. Indiana Poet Jan. 7, 1998 LIFE Shedders naive where the building Clothes dresses up on heart Draws the picture of his future Keeps the paper close at hand Back system into a suitcase Suffers terror on a train And he wants to start some movement Cause he's indestructible Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Destructable Cause he's in And you know they'll have appointments And they'll live us alone And if we just keep on talking Then we'll stare make its own There's commotion and promotions Now they dunk it anymore Selling pictures to a paper Now that everyone must know Trading satelites for substance Let spectators pave the way We'll invade the travy fountain Now that everyone must pay Trading satelites for substance Let spectators pave the way We'll invade the travy fountain Now that everyone must pay Mama's babies Mothers, tragedy Babies, mothers, tragedy Babies, mothers, tragedy Terrifies again......... If you can understand the song you get the message - satanhell King of Wishful Thinking Wishing what was said, was real Planning ahead for what you do not know, and reaching for things you think you want. Wishing on stars, out of sight, for things that are or never were, you find yourself King. Trying to find that one, not to ever seal with a kiss, but to just touch and feel. Wishing on stars, out of sight, if only you knew what I held this night. For then things would be different, and you would find yourself a happy King. Instead you are a King with no Queen. And, the truth should never be seen. For the stars outshine the dim light, that you wish upon this very night. Things so sacred, you would never - yet, you still find yourself wishing. Only to be a King of Wishful Thinking. -Kamira January 18th, 1998 First poem of the year. kami@sekurity.org Erotica (or dedication to Shane) Sheltered innocence is sexual appeal emotional turmoil an unfounded desire twisted soul, scarred psyche, raging conflict... desire to share pain, desire to be the missing element. desire Is it comprehension of pain? empathy of internal struggle? or lacking in oneself, and need for pain from another? Doesn't matter. Come mind fuck me. Please? ------------------------------------------------------- E D I T O R S: jericho@dim.com & demonika@dim.com ------------------------------------------------------- to receive new issues via e-mail, send mail to jericho@dimensional.com with "subscribe poetry". if you do not have FTP access and would like back issues, send a list of missing issues and they will be sent. ------------------------------------------------------- A V A I L A B I L I T Y: AnonFTP: FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK/POETRY WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho ------------------------------------------------------- (c) Copyright. All poems copyright by original author. ------------------------------------------------------- F O U N D E D: October 30, 1997