some things were meant to be funny... some weren't.... but there is a in-between... well, we're not the in-between... but... we're ... FAHKING FONGU KIDDIEZ!@#% --------+ ,e«$$$$ý$$$$«e, - ,e«$$$$ý$$$$«e, $$$$$$$ $$S"""" $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ ------+ $$$"$$$ ,e«$$$$ý,$$$"$$$ $ý""""' c,e«$$$$ý$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ ;$$$$$$$ $ $$$$$$$ $$$$«e, i$$$$$$$ $ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ ;$$$$$$$ $ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ d$$$$$$$ $ "S$$$$$s $$$"$$$ `"S$$$$$s$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ $$$"$$$ "S$sss, $$$$$$$ mmmmmmmmS $$$"$$$ $$$"$$$ $$$$$$$s ý"""' $$$$$$$ ssssss, $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ ----------- "S$$$$$ ---f0ngu---+ --+ $$$Sý"' +- "S$$$$$s$$$$$$$ ---------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is Fongu? - The immortal question - by eWHEAT jUAREZ Many may think it means "Fuck you" in Italian, according to Trip. I'm not a spagetti beefaroni eatin' greasy haired person, so I wouldn't know if Fongu really means fuck you, or fungus, hell I don't even know how I came up with it, maybe I heard it somewhere, or maybe the words came across my eyes when I jizzed in my eyes after whackin' off on irc. (uh... dont tell anyone, please... i want to keep my 0-day porn, grr) Uhh... damn. Anyways, Fongu in my description is... the ultimate 0-day feeling where you can just sit and laugh at the world while sniffing your farts from that big 7-11 Big Gulp you had in the past hour thinking about chinese women who will scrub your back for 25 cents and maybe comb your hair since you're probably one of those people that look at the newspaper and see Bill Clinton's face and think with hate... "God damn multicultural bastard." If so... then we phear joo. Fongu also is the way of the American life, there was once a time when the ordinary kid would come home from school and find that his mom had left Ding-Dongs and a can of Dr. Pepper waiting for him beside to his desk, for snacks to eat while doing homework... right after school. But now, the fucking kid has to come home... after getting beat up by the negros and chinks on the bad block on the way home... he comes home to find that his mom stole his weed and replaced them with cigarettes. "Dammit mom, that was a fucking Quarter Pounder... not a fucking one dollar fifty cent cigarette pack... dammit mom." Fuck homework, I'm gunna go and rob a 7-11 so I can get money to get a glock and shewt mah mom and buy more weed. NO! NO! THAT IS NOT WHAT AMERICA IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE! NO! MULTICULTURAL BASTARDS HAVE RUINED THIS COUNTRY, EVERY KID THAT COMES HOME SHOULD GET A DING-DONG AND A DR. PEPPER, NOT THIS SHIT. I OFFICALLY DECLARE A REVOLUTION AGAINST THE DAMN MULTICULTURAL BASTARDS... GO OUTSIDE AND SCREAM "I WANT MY DING-DONG AND DR. PEPPER NOW! I WANT MY FUCKING DING-DONG NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!@#%!@%# MORE DR. PEPPER NOW!@#% MOM!@#%!@#%@!% NOW!@#%!#%" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] Now, it comes to a vote... yes, that's right you damn longhaired shame to the white population bitch, you get the right to vote too (God knows why) You get to decide what version fongu will be in from now on... (or until ewheat decides that you've voted really badly and his supreme rule edits the polls) Fill out these forms... cut-n-paste, and email it to _ / /\ -threetea@mcs.net _ / / \ ,-- / /\/ / \ -, | ,/ / \/ / | ,---| \ \ / |-----------------------------------------------------, | `-- \ \ / -----' vote fongu for prez '00... phear the republic | | `\`*_' | | | | eYE iS a 0-DAY bITCH, mAKE iT .EXE [-] | | eYE iS a lINUX biTCH, mAKE iT .TXT [-] | | eYE iS a dEWDLEbOYEE, mAKE iT cOLORZ [-] | | eYE iS a iNTELLIGENT zINE bITCH, mAKE iT nON-c0LORZ [-] | | | | mAH nAME iZ [-----------------------------------------------------------] | `---------------------------------------------------------------------------' a%$"$%a a%$"$%a a%$"$%a a%$"$%a a%s s%a a%$"$%a a&$ a%$"$%a a%$"$%a $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$$$$ $$$ ssss$S" "ý' $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$$$$"$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$ $"$ $$$$$$$$ sss $$$$$"$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$ $$$$$"$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $"$ $$$$$"$ $$$ $$$$$$$ $"$$$$ $$$ss $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$$$$$s$"$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $"$ $$$ $$$ $"$ $$$s$$$ $$$ $$$s$$$ $$$ $$$ ssss$$$ $$$s$$$ $$$s$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ssss °--------------osphicial fongu members--------------------------------------° c0-ed1t0rz - fahrenhei - ewheat - cidica writers - ewheat - fahrenhei - scribble - whtetrash - spook artists - fahrenhei - scribble - ewheat - cidica sorry if i didn't add in your name or whatever... talk to me and yer in next issue (if you really contribute... monthly) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- u00nGIE b00NGIE PHEAR THIS SPACE... SPEWK GETS A SPACE BEFORE HIS INTERVIEW ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Interview with the Dogfucker------(by spook, the next anne rice, phear)------ *** spoOk (blehman@mail.ee.net) has joined channel #dogsex *** Users on #dogsex: spoOk @cottonbal *** Mode change "+o spoOk" on channel #dogsex by cottonbal lets keep everyone out *** Mode change "+snti" on channel #dogsex by cottonbal that's better... now we can do this interview in private yeah! ok.. so what made you come to this channel in the first place? well i started fucking my dog rover one day and i decided it was kinda fun... so i wanted to see if anyone else did the same thing.. and sure enough... there were a bunch of people who did it. and what made you want to start fucking your dog? well i think that around the 10th grade i realized that women didn't like me... and i probably was never gunna get laid... so one friday night i was sitting home watching tgif and for some reason i became very arroused by rover... so i thought.. what the hell hmm.. i see.. and so you still fuck your dog? of course.. every night.. sometimes we even do a little roll playing ;) ah... ok what was the initial reaction of the members of #dogsex to you? they were all pretty much in the same boat i was... so they accepted me pretty well.. but there were a few there that fucked their cats.. ew.. that's just plain sick.. so we kicked them out.. like this one guy MaZtAgEe... ew.. hey kept talking about getting his cat fluffy stuck up his ass... good move... and at what point did you become an op in here? after about the second year they all finally accepted me to the point where they would let me be a part of the 'elite' group of things in there.. ah... how many years ago was this? well i was made an op the day i graduated.. sort of a graduation present from the guys... and that was 4 years ago.. oic.. so that makes you what now? i'm 22 any hope of getting a place of yer own with rover? i hope to soon.. mommy keeps walking in on us.. and my penis isn't too big so it's kind of embarrasing.. oic... got some money saved up then? yeah i've been goin downtown and sucking dick for money for a few year so i have enough for an apartment.. gotcha... what are your future plans? well i was hoping to maybe get a couple more dogs, maybe even a female dog (never tried a female dog) and of course the apartment. after that i dunno.. i will probably make a living sucking dick for another coupla years... ok.. i suppose that's about it... is there anything you wanna say in closing? yes.. i am making a liberation movement for human/dog relationships and rights.. just because i fuck my dog every night doesn't entitle me to less.. i would like to legalize human/dog marrages as well and give social benifits to married dogs so that we can move in together... ok.. thanks for your time... no problem... bye... lates.. *** spoOk has left channel #dogsex at 11:30PM ok.. so that's cottonbal... i hope you enjoyed it! -spoOk!spook.postmaster.gahanna.k12.oh.us ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- another #ansi flaming article... dont phear. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- °"hEY lOOK AT MAH ELEET VERSION" ----by ewheat/f0ngu dentist----------------° PHEAR MY SCRIPT, EYE AM GOD. REALLY? LEMME SEE? /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP DRMAGIK VERSION <-- da b0mb PHEAR THAT, CTOOLZ AND BITCHX AND LICE WITH ASMODEAN ADD ONS! BAH, THAT'S NOTHING, LOOK AT MINE. /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion /REDIR #ANSI /CTCP Coolio-X VERSION <-- da expl0sion yEZ, PHEAR, BITCHX, CTOOLZ, IRCII, HADES, ZEPHYR, RK.SCR, LEYMHUR, AND LICE WIF ASMODEAN ADD ONS PLATINUM... phEAR. °---- - three words.. . stop it, dammityoufuckersgetafuckinglife - ------ ° bE sUPRA eLEET anD rUN lINUX tHEN gET oPZ iN #aNSI °---------------------------------------------------------------------------° :) (====B8 <-- me on irc waitin' for cidica and trip to come on. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Egocentrism - what killed nootropic?-------------by ewheatburglar------------ °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Step one - The smell of eleetness ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wow... look at all those ppl in #ansi... wow, I wish I could be as elite as them... wow... oooh... look someone offered thedraw registered... i wanna be elite like them... /msg eliteman xdcc send #1 ... ahhh yes... I can feel the eliteness flowing in me... yEZ... EYE CAN FEEL IT! AHAHH IT'S LIKE HEROIN IN MY VEINZ! AHHH, IT'S DONE NOW!@#%!@% EYE AM SUPER ELITE NOW, I BETTER GO BACK TO MY #BBSWAREZ FRIENDS AND LET THEM PHEAR MAH DEWDLEBOY SKILLZ, MAYBE THEY'LL GIMME OPZ!? °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Step two - The finding of the way to eleetness. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- WOW, I MADE MY FIRST THEDRAW FONT! PHEAR MAH ANSI HAXORING SKILLZ! MAYBE SOME WWIV SYSOP IN MY AREA CODE WILL PUT THEM UP AS HIS WELCOME SCREEN THEN I'D BE SO ELEET EVERYONE WILL PHEAR MY WORK, LEMME SIGN MY NAME AND PUT MY NEW AFFIL THAT I MADE UP IN HOPES THAT PPL WILL SEE IT AND BE IMPRESSED BY MAH ELITENESS... THAT STUPID FUCKING SYSOP PUT IT IN THE GOODBYE SCREEN NOT HIS WELCOME! IT HANGS UP BEFORE ALL OF THE ANSI IS DISPLAYED, STUPID BITCH! EYE WILL FLAME HIM ALL OVER WWIVNET AND IRC, HAHAHAH JOOR SCENE LIFE IS DONE WITH! ARGH! LOAD MIRC... DIAL 1-800-WAREZ THAT SYSOP THINKS HE'S SO ELEET, RIGHT? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, RIGHT. RIGHT. OH, GEWD, I'M CONNECTED... W0RD, EYE GOT OPZ ON #BBSWAREZ, THEY PHEAR ME... HEY EVERYONE! YOU KNOW THE SYSOP OF DOG HEAVEN BBS? WORD, HE SUCKS! WHAT, YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM? WHY? YOU LAMERS! WHAT? YOU DEOPPED ME? HUH? WHY? HUH? BANNING ME? I DARE YOU TO KICK ME... *** Can't join channel : Banned from channel. OH YEAH! FINE! WHO NEEDS YOU, EYE AM TOO ELEET FOR JOO. /JOIN #ANSI... HEY, LOOK AT THOSE COOL KIDS... WOW... ACIDDRAW ONE POINT TWO ZERO! WOW, /msg eliteman2 xdcc send #1. W0RD, EYE AM IN ACID NOW! EYE HAVE THEIR PRIVATE DRAWING VERSION! /JOIN #ACID... HEY YOU GUYS, I GOT ACIDDRAW, PHEAR EYE AM IN ACID NOW... WHAT? RADMAN? WHAT? WHO ARE YOU, RADMAN? EYE AM MORE ELEETER THAN JOO, LOOK AT ME DRAW THEDRAW FONTS! *** Can't join channel : Banned from channel. WELL, FUCK YOU RADMAN, WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE. EYE WILL KIXOR YOUR ASS °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Step 3 - Working towards eleetness. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ALLRIGHT, LOOK, IF I COPY THIS ANSI... YEAH, CUT-N-PASTE, GOD, ACIDDRAW RULES, TOO BAD IT'S CODED BY A BUNCHA LAMERS. JEAH JEAH, CUT-n-PASTING, PaSTING, PASTING, cUTTING, CUTTING, PASTING, PASTING... OOH LOOK ICE FROM 93, WOW, THAT'S ELEET... CUT-N-PASTE, CUT-n-PASTE! ALT S SAVE, EL-MYBORD.ANS PWWISH, eXIT aCIDDRAW. I THINK I'M GOING TO APPLY TO ELEETMAN'S GREWP, ELEETOMEN, THEY WILL PHEAR. TELEMATE, 1-800-WAREZ, CONNECT, bEE-BEWP... eleetman hAXOR RZ EL-MYBORD.ANS IRC eleeTZ irc.cris.com slash load mirc-look-alike.irc SLASH JOIN #ANSI /XDCC OFFER EL-MYBROD.ANS EVERYONE GET MY ANSI, EET'Z ELEET... iCE/EMIC/ETHIC/APATHY/RILE/ETC RECRUIT ME NOW, EYE AM ELEET PHEAR MY ANSI DRAWING SKILLZ. YEAH, THATS RIGHT ELITE2, I SHOULD BE IN ICE, BUT I'M NOT... LEMME JOIN YOUR GREWP... EYE'M IN? WORD! ALLWRITE! LEMME PUT JOOR ELEET GREWP IN MAH NICK... SLASH NICK elELEET... WORD, PHEAR MY AFFIL NOW! CAN I BE A HQ FOR YOUR GROUP? ALLWRITE, I'M THE NORTHERN HQ! PHEAR, LEMME PUT MY AFFIL ON THE #ANSI BOT SO I CAN GLOAT MY PHEARIOUS AFFILS SLASH MSG PHLEGM INFO ELEETZ OF ELEET, PHEAR MY SKILLZ. PHEAR EYE'M GETTING SUMWHERE. °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Step 4 - The being there of eleetness... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- PHEAR, I AM TOO ELEET FOR ELEETGROUP, I QUIT ELEETGROUP, REJOINED, QUIT, REJOINED, QUIT, REJOINED, QUIT, REJOINED, QUIT, REJOINED, QUIT, REJOINED, QUIT, EYE AM SUPRA ELITE NOW. FUCK YOU ALL GROUPS, I AM TOO ELEET FOR GREWPS... WATCH ME JOIN LEAVE, JOIN LEAVE, JOIN LEAVE ANY GROUP IN THE SCENE, EYE AM TOO ELEET. I THINK I WILL JOIN SOME "SEKRIT UNDERGROUND CANDIAN ANSI GREWP" WHERE I CAN BE THE BEST IN THE GREWP, THEREFORE MAKING ME LEWK BETTER. JEAH, LEWK AT ME TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR ALL THE TAKEOVERS IN #ANSI, PHEAR! PHEAR! LEWK AT ME! EYE STARTED OPERATION CHICKEN YEZ EYE REALLY DID, MAH ZINE SEZ SO! PHEAR ME... °---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Step 5 - The acting of knowing it all but really wantin' to stay eleet ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes... don't talk to me... eye'm too eleet... eye will sell my board's setup for 900 bucks or 32 megs of memory... because my presence is too gewd for joo guys, i am therefore removing myself from you all at all costs... i will stop my zine, and release with mah sekrit grewp becuz they're underground and yew never check their packs. phear me... no, dont talk to me... DAMMIT, DONT TALK TO ME, DONT MSG ME MUDDAFUCKAW OH, HAHAHA, FUNNY GUY? MAKING FUN OF ME IN JOOR ZINE? HARDY HE HAR THINK JOO ARE SO FUNNY HUH? WELP, EYE WILL USE MY PHEARIOUS AFFILS TO DESTROY YOUR LITTLE PEW-NY ZINE... HEY HEY QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME... NOW. IT HURTZ MAH FEELINGS, bUT EYE AM STILL TEW ELEET FOR JOO, LITTLE BUCK WHEAT BOY, JOO WILL DIE IN MY ZINE, SOUP FLEW. °---------------------------------------------------------------------------° laugh and_ then all the children will lau _gh at j_oo, becuz it's ,-----------' | ,------_ -----,-------------' |___ | `------, not [_ ][_ ' | [_ _ ] | | _] nice -------`-| -------~ `-| | `-|-- | '----~ | | |-'--------- | -|--, | | | | | | | | | | | 3t | __ | | | | | |-| |--------, | | | -------- | | `' | | | | | | | | |-' | --------- |` | | | | | ' |-| '-| |' | to laugh. `--___| `--__ `--| | `---__ |----______' `----' `---------' `-------' ____________ |_ __ ___| ( horserdaish ) \____________/ ÉÈèHORSERDAISH SAUCE ? f0ngu 3t