[ Breathe e'Zine - Volume 1, Issue 2 - January 8, 1997 ] Breathe! ----- + Introduction by Belial - [January 8, 1997] Welcome to the second edition of Breathe. This issue is dedicated to the art of poetry. The poems in this issue of Breathe reflect what, in my opinion, is "real" poetry. That is, poetry that comes from the heart, the poetry that comes from your own mind, not influenced by the trends of the time, poetry written for the sake of the art... for the sake of the poet. It's too often that I see, especially on the computer, the art of poetry being abused. The constant abuse of poetry has ultimately lead to the dismissal of poetry as being a beautiful and vital part of literature and writing or as a form of art in general. Poetry is an expression of the soul, working in conjunction with the mind and the body. The next few poems, in my opinion, reflect this definition of poetry. -- Breathe e'Zine, Volume 1, Issue 2 (c) 1996 by Belial (Marc Newman), all rights reserved. Copyrights to articles, stories, poems, and illustratio- ns are the property of their creators. The contents of this publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part without consent of the copyright owner. -- I would like to thank everyone who contributed to this issue, including: Mindcrime, Edicius, Luke Skywalker, SpoonDog, and Stephen Edwards. -- Belial [marc@netlabs.net] ----- + "Untitled" by Belial (in memory of Tourian) [Note: This poem is dedicated to a friend of mine in the ansi art scene who died a number of months ago. It sucks when people die, but it sucks more when people you know die.] Enter him, the lost soul's lost Paradise. Calm sea, the bitter ocean's rage. A winter's wind, The wayward candle, his once Proud flame... And to that, The red leaf's broken wing. Take flight, A lifetime's life, and Silence in... A lifetime's last Twilight. ----- + "Poet as Painter (for Screamin' Jay Hawkins)" by Stephen Edwards I'm painting an oil A portrait of a man How can I paint a smile On this foggy night? Dressed in black, his thin fingers wrinkle Arthritis hands that we'll never touch Catching a cab, or picking a flower Hitchhiking and bowling Maybe out on the river rowing How can I paint a smile On a name I don't know? All over the world little hearts are always breaking And little tears are falling Why would you think that he's any different? So again I ask you How can I put a smile on his face? ----- + "The Black Dove" by Mindcrime A man approached me on the stree today To peddle his wares of blue and grey. He spoke of my hate and my iniquity, My soul he could see despite my solidity. I never meant to be the man I am, A skeptic, a sinner, too quick to damn. Lust ever present, I long for true love, Fear manifested, I dream the black dove. Change is forever sculpting my mind, It's too damn hard to live a life of this kind. My soul burning in hell, conscience maddending, Stuck in a life so depressing and saddening. I'm not locked in this life, I don't require a key, There's more of my life on the horizon, you see. I can't make it all happen, but i'll give it a shove, Freed from this life, fly away my black dove. ----- + "Clone" by SpoonDog Doomed To utter submisson Of myself And all thought And emotion Trying to make me change Trying to make me a clone FUCK YOU! I'm never going to become One of you I will be who I am By myself And not you But the day will come When you win And I am left to Nothing Nothing Nothing A clone ----- + "The Mighty Man" by Stephen Edwards I am the Mighty Man Master of my dark cigarette smoke filled apartment Ruler of the world I can sit here with my back on the floor And the world waits for me It slows It stops I eat, drink, smoke, fuck & shit And now, staring at the slow, unmoving walls of my apartment I rise And strut over to the window BAM! Window wide open, shadows in the moonlight, dick to the world I jerkoff out window so the world can move again In peace and eternal love Amen. ----- + "Futile" by SpoonDog I dont know what's real Or what's meant to be Forsaken blind in this land of sight I am cast out I dont know how I want to feel Never did Constant inner hatred Can't fight it Bringing me down Faster, Faster To the ground Plunging me deeper into this hell Hoping I will awaken to anew But It doesnt stop The never ending Never stopping Never releasing Can't stop the anger and sorrow ... Futile ----- + "Stage" by SpoonDog Every day I don my mask And I climb up onto this stage of mine And I perform I act as if I'm happy I act as if everything is fine But I am dying away A rotting corpse with a smiling face Contridiction Abomination Perched upon his own stage ----- + "Surrender" by SpoonDog Thoughts scattered across the sky In a hazy mess Too far away for me to touch I reach my hands into the air Hoping to catch a piece of me Tangled And Distraught In despair Writhing to break free But my furious attempts Prove useless I now choose not to try anymore Been rejected too many times It's not worth the effort anymore I can't stand to be smashed into pieces again ----- + "Nothing Did" by SpoonDog I walk here alone And I stare in their eyes And See emptiness And I feel sudden hatred at the way you are So beautiful above your barren wasteland inside I want to smash your face with my stare But I divert my eyes, Ponder my motivations, Reasons, Meaning... I find I have none at all And Go about my business... ----- + "Untitled" by Belial Dreams, Visions of night. The soft swell Of imagination, The joy found In the rising sun. Simplicity-- Life and pleasure. But, Blinded by pain And longing. Desire. Truth. The balance holds. Life. ----- + "Dumb Girl" by Edicius Hey, I know you're dumb Really dumb at times You do really stupid things But that's ok You're just a girl I mean, hey, you're a girl It's not that bad It's just that you do stupid things & you're pretty dumb at times & you don't have self control Over your body, or your mind (at times) But that's ok I know you're dumb In fact, really stupid You're just a girl But I'm just a boy & I still like you Even though you're really dumb Given the chance I could be that dumb Well, I may not have sex With five different guys On videotape In front of strangers At a weird house With a carrot But that's ok Be as dumb as you want You're just a girl But I'll still like you Maybe we can be dumb together ----- + "My Star In The Darkness" by Luke Skywalker The first time I saw her I was struck by her beasuty I know not how I came to find the star As it shot across the otherwise bleak night The trail it left behind illuminating A happier place to be thanks to that shooting star I often find myself wondering When will I see this star again It seems like forever until that fateful night I was not expecting it But her radiance once again fills the night time sky I can do nothing but appreciate, perhaps even give thanks This shooting star has given me light Pointed me in a new direction The image of the star is imbedded in my thoughts Majestically streaking through the black sky The star is no longer hard to find I see her everytime I close my eyes And I believe the star is now a part of me As together we ride off in the midnight sky ----- + "Sea of Tears" by SpoonDog Drowning Sinking I try to call out to you But My voice is choked by The raging sea of tears That I created myself You offer your hand to me To save me I wish to grasp on to it But I refuse your help Fearing pulling you in too I cannot trust myself Raging emotions deep inside Drowning me day by day Downward on a spiraling whirlpool Your hand still remain extended I still refuse Drowning by my own will... 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