Staci's fake newz articles 4 ati 188

WORMS: GIVE US $ FOR OUR WORK!

Normal, ILL - In the first ever suit filed by worms,
the worms claim that they should be compensated for
the work done by them to help humans catch fish and
other such feats. There will be more details on this 
case in the next issue; this trial will be our feature
issue for the next week.
    --Staci Charles for PAWN (Prime Anarchist World Newz)

SEWER BACKUP SINKS 700,000-PLUS HOMES.

(PAWN) New Fork, NF - In the suburbs around New Fork City
yesterday people in their homes suddenly found themselves 
sinking.
   Reggie Smith came home to find that his house was four
feet underground. 
   "I just left for work in the morning, and when I came
home I couldn't open my door." Rescuers are still trying
to save some 20,000 people still stuck in their houses.
Over 747,747 homes were affected.
   Investigators are blaming the growing use of hoses to
keep lawns green, and the fact that several bears and 
other woodland creatures have been spotted relieving
themselves in the sewers. "We've just taken away too 
many of the trees, their natural toilets," said Nancy
Weildman, forest ranger. Weildman went on to explain 
that trees are naturally better processors of bear
whiz than sewersystems.

    --Staci Charles, on location.