BEGIN ---- cut here ---- ati173.jpg PSST!: I'm not letting any of you help me with this week's 'zine. It's called "Operation Team Player." Tax Day cometh on the New Moon. Are you fully braced?? ************** ** Hootmon, **- - - - - - - - - - . ************** 371 / / (oops, reverse that) / / / Activist Times, Inc. ATI is a - - journalistic, causistic, / /cyberpolitical / /organization, / 4 more info? /trying to / send SASE's & /help y'all, and us / e-stamps??? change the world / to: radically, in less / ATI@etext.org than two minute / increments. / - - - - - - - - - Happy Spring Ahead, Happy Fertility, Happy Easter. And while you're at it you might as well set your clocks - on everything you got that counts - to 1971 See? Voila. Instant y2k compat. Even your toaster! As if. Who bought a toaster with a timer? You, id-i-OT! Did, you, not, know, you can be kicked, out, of Dexter's La-boooor-atoory, for that? Now, I shall have to, disable your timer, so it will be y,2,k comPATible for I do NOT, think you will reMEMber 1971 or 1972. Greedings, phellow shortsighted hu-person beings, it's Saturday, April 3, 1999. In the year of our Arm-a-gettin. Live, from Madeline Albright's knickers-drawer in the Lincoln Bedroom it's ATI. hACTIVIST, TURVY & ILLIN' FROM THE PUBLISHER. helo welcome to ati issue 173. A pretty little one. Not many submissions. Hint, hint... Well? What else can I say? Have an ice day. -prime- U want #'s We got #'s. http://thebird.org/host/dcdave http://www.theofficenet.com/~redorman/welcome.html http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist http://www.thepentagon.com/barataeletrica http://www.freespeech.org/kokopeli/frucht.html http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/frucht.html http://nexgen.annihilated.com http://netropic.speakeasy.org -=[=-=(You are Reading, A T I.)=-=]=- ---------------- THE MORNING MAIL ---------------- to ati@etext.org Mind-it, your FREE personalized tracking service from NetMind, has detected new changes in: "Hee Yun's Little Home" Click here to view the changed page: http://mindit.netmind.com/go/1/15562693/3304475 [by the way, was your paper wet this morning?] Some of you have asked for more information on the Vanishing Prayer video, so I am posting them for the benefit of all. Please post: Vanishing Prayer is a summary of Black Mesa events dating back to the 50's and more general Dineh historical information. Topics covered include: John Boyden Public law 93531 Coal Slurry Line Uranium mining The bennett freeze The UN summit at Glenna Begay's Livestock impoundments generous amounts of cuts from "Broken Rainbow" A plea for help from Bonnie Whitesinger, Roberta Black goat etc. Burial Site desecration / Sacred site etc. The music is incredible (Fritz) and John Bennally is singing the "Big Mountain Song". -Mauro meyesol@eudoramail.com to ati@etext.org You People Suck. Nick-Toons (212) To The Editor of ATI: Why don't you do a special edition devoted to worms? -Robert (718) OK, how bout a pome? I get my strength from the Ocean; Don't care how much you pollute it. The sand itself is my hour-glass, No matter how much you dilute it. ----<><><><>---- Cryptic Warning For When Viruses (or is the correct plural "virii??" like the Melissa or Happy99 come whipping through. S/he who well remembers Edit and especially Edlin, [ok, Notepad will do THIS TIME...] is not lost. So brush up on your i's and e's, eh? Pronuncing Guide to Question Marks ? = Or is the correct plural virii? ?? = Or is the correct PLURAL VIRII? ??? = Or is the CORRECT PLURAL VIRII? ?!? = OR IS THE CORRECT PLURAL VIRII? ?!?!? = YOU F*?KING B*ST*RD WHAT'S THE CORRECT PLURAL FOR VIRII??? =)? = I hope you have a nice day, didja? -=+=6=(You are Reading, A T I.)=9=+=- STOP! - - / - \ \ / / \ : US : : PS : : : : : Important Customer Information. Because of heightened security the following types of mail may not be placed in recepticle: 1) Things that tick. 2) Things that hum. 3) Things in wooden boxes. 4) Hallmark cards with "songs" inside. 5) Anything to military FPO's. 6) Anything bigger than a breadbasket. 7) Sounds like beer. 8) Rhymes with ROM. Bring these to an official USPS site Instead. CRACKER: I NAMED IT AFTER A WOMAN WHO WOULDN'T GO OUT WITH ME. --------- by Nilda Perella Prime Anarchist World News --------- Princeton, NEW SHIRT - One week after the stunning e-mail virus named "Melinda" began stomping out forest fires all over the world, authoritarians said Friday they had beaten up a man who created the 24 hour bug in his bathroom and named it after a woman who refused to have sex with him. David S. Long, 6, was arrested Thursday night in a gentlemen's club restroom. "I was going to name the virus Erpes," said Long, "but it was too short. The most common charges against Long include Coy Interruptus, Conspiracy and Theft of Conspiracy, Phone Sex, Lamerism and Dweebishness. Long was released on $35 bond and told to sit in the corner for a time out. "He had a little willy," said Melinda S. Tripper, in an exclusive P.A.W.N. interview on top of a table in a dark smokey room. "That's all I'm going to say, and you can quote me," she said shaking her you know whats, obviously still effected from yesterday's happenstance. She went on to say she wouldn't date him if he were "the last Cracker on earth." "Besides," said Melinda, "he's got pimples. Ew. And he uses AOL; yuck!" -=+=-=(You are Reading, A T I.)=-=+=- PAWN - OWA - (obit w/ attitude) Memphis, TENN. Graceland was in chaos this morning when Elvis Presley was hit by a stray cruise missile. "I think Elvis was happy to die," said Barry Rustler, chief executive officer of Money Worldwide, which represents the estates of dozens of the world's biggest celebrities. Born in 1869, according to Rustler, Elvis was 130 years old. -=-=-=-=-=- And hot off the financial pages of our robust website, DOW MATCHES WAITING LIST AT DC SOUP KITCHEN Georgetown, - "10,023 people will not eat today," said Yahoo A. Digital, a worker at the Olive Branch FoodNotBombs daily feed in Washington DC's smallest inner city, "unless more food comes in quick." He was heard repeating this to all eleven postal workers who will begin a cropwalk from DC to Bangor, Maine looking for them that caused their hunger. "Perhaps look at Bath Ironworks," said Digital for the dozenth time, "or Raytheon, Newport News and the Oval Oriface. -=+_/[=(You `R Reading, A T I.)=]\_+=- By now you know, we almost always end the zine with a poem or a parody. This Parody-Poem is produced by the letter P. ADDICTED TO COFFEE - Retort : ROBERT PALMER The lights are on, but you're not home Your coffee pot, empty, alone Your heart sweats, your body shakes Another cup, is what it takes You're in deep, you ought to eat There's no doubt - you're half asleep Your throat is dry, you're like a seed Another cup is all you need Chorus: You like to think that you're imune to the stuff Oh yeah It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough You know you're gonna have to face it You're addicted to coffee You see the signs - but you can't read You're running at a different speed your heart beats in double time another cup and you'll be fine A one-track mind; you can't be saved Oblivion is all you crave If there's some left over for you You don't mind if you do Might as well face it: you're addicted to coffee (repeated many times over the same scheme as the refrains) Solo: The lights are on, but you're not home Your coffee pot, empty, alone Your heart sweats your teeth grind Another cup and you'll be fine Chorus: Might as well face it you're addicted to love (8x) Today is /\ Day /17\ of \ / pie2K \/ !!! send anything. ati@etext.org