991219 00:44 I FOUND THE FOUR HORSEMEN by Prime Anarchist "We are not here to cross that line, but to abolish it." --Jacqueline, a 20 yr old Obelin College Student about School of the Americas. [ed note: picking up the civil rights movement where nana and grampa left off. Perhaps conscience skips a gen?] "I want 10,000 words, Thompson! You hear me??" Pat Robertson in his peroxide beard and lily white toupe atop his head. Who are the three middle-aged white men he sits with ramming their fear-oriented cult mind manipulation down viewers hoary eyeballs? Kenneth Copeland, or should I leave all names out? Nah! Wait, that's NOT Pat Robertson, or is it? Let's not libel the guy, eh? I change the channel and TNT's repeating Bill Murray playing ole Rev. Stockton Thompson in "Where the Buffalo Roam," Ah, memories. So much for my self-imposed twenty minute limit of TV for the whole day. Hard to hold to, peeps. This is what happens to me when CNN, MTV, and VH1 (are there ANY networks that AREN'T trying so diligently to grow into a three-letter- agency???) are disseminating lies, propaganda or bad ads. Or all three, perhaps. How much do I loathe Jim Palmer's Money Store? Let me count the ways. Take it back to pre-Phil Ruzzuto, huh? Is there EVER gonna be a "fast forward" for "live" TV ads? Until then I surf once around everytime Hunter's show breaks. Gross Pointe Blank. John Cusack. Minnie Driver. Wow. Did I miss another good one? Should I have gone to the big screen yet another time? Oh well. It's just as profound in my little box I guess. "Riot cops kill protesters, that's indiscriminate; I don't do that," Cusack tells Driver while bottoming out. Hi, I'm Prime and you're not. This is ATI issue 203. The moon is somewhere between half and full. Ask your coyote, I just don't know, and I'm NOT going to grab a newspaper just to find out. They caught a guy with two jars of nitro and 100 lbs of urine in his car. Hey, you'd piss yourself too if while holding something so volatile you had to have someone official-looking point a rocketlauncher at your family jewels and scream "Drop 'em!" But seriously, folk. First I heard o' this a couple hours ago, one of the "legit" [cough, laugh, giggle, squirm, cough] press told us it was 200 pounds of nitro, a trunk full or urea, and he was Lebanese... flip chans -- you hear "nitro and urea and there may be plutonium..." grab a shortwave, and you find out he's Liberian, and not Lebanese. If this follows other bombings [& attempts] in the US except the UN the last two decades, then within a week we'll find out he was some blonde guy from Montana who went to way too much church, read way too much Spotlight magazine, listened to way too much Rush Limberger, and had way too much time on his hands. Oh and he heard voices that Clinton was the antichrist and must be stopped by blowing up the world. Two rockets are trying to launch the past week and a half. There's been delays. One's a Shuttle, looks like a pregnant Tonka truck, and the other, well. How DO you describe it? It's either a goofy looking penis or a snake that ate a rat the size of Laramie, Wyoming. Anyhow it seems like the monkee god keeps dropping cocanuts on the NASA guys' heads, because they just can't get 'em up. Oh well, their problem, I'm sure they'll work it out. Call Pfizer. There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hopes that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. NYC had a full week without a single classical guitar performance. At least not ones that are "big enough" or "PC" enough to be added in the New York Slimes. I got a letter to the editor published in Gear Magazine this month. Should I reprint it here? Nah, maybe next month. Get it at a newsstand. Help out Mr. Bob. (you know, the Guccione guy) A journalist WITHOUT a Kachina Is like a paragraph Without context. Not quite a haiku, but there you have it. Prime Outa...