/-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\ / THE REAL "COOL DUDES" GUIDE \ < by: > \ Red Phantom / \-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-/ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %% The Lazy Dragon...............(312)/(728-4069) %% %% Armageddon....................(312)/(967-0848) %% %% The Music Box.................(312)/(774-0202) %% %% Ripco International...........(312)/(528-5020) %% %% Blue Skies....................(312)/(386-0499) %% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Perhaps the most widely-used term in "modemland", second only to 'ware', is the word 'dude' (and the many variations thereof). The title of 'dude' is, undoubtedly, a term of respect, since many people often claim themselves to be dudes. In fact, a super-elite person is often referred to as a "cool dude." I know you must be saying to yourself, "But how can I become a Cool Dude?" Well, here are some guidelines: Cool dudes don't leech. Cool dudes don't keep their disks in a cardboard box. Cool dudes know how to pronounce "DOS". Cool dudes never talk like: "HAY, D0 U WANT 2 XFER W/ME L8R?" Cool dudes are over 15 years of age. Cool dudes don't bitch at someone for a typo. Cool dudes drink lots of beer. Cool dudes NEVER drink "L.A." beer. Cool dudes do not refer to a dictionary every five minutes while typing in a message. Cool dudes don't leave their computers idle for more than 24 hours. Cool dudes don't use their computers 24 hours a day. Cool dudes appreciate it when a sysop gives him a security raise. Cool dudes don't buy cracked wares, or any wares, for that matter. Cool dudes don't sell cracked wares, they trade for them. Cool dudes don't trade "ware-for-ware." Cool dudes type at least 50 words a minute. Download complete Download which 1-11 0=List =Quit:10 A)scii, E)xit, X)modem ?A Press to begin *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *- -* -* BEAGLE TIP BOOK #3 *- *- -* -* PRESENTED BY BETS C. *- *- -* -*APPLE MANOR (716) 654-POOF!*- *- -* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- PROGRAMMABLE RESET *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- There are a couple of pokes you A Press to begin Murphy's Computer Laws ---------------------- Courtesy of: The Snark Laws of Computer Programming ---------------------------- 1. There is always one more bug. 2. Any given program, when running, is obsolete 3. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 5. Any program will expand to fill all available memory. 6. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer to maintain it. 8. Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find out that programmers cannot write in English. Weinberg's Law -------------- If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. Hare's Law of Large Programs ---------------------------- Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out. Troutman's Programming Laws --------------------------- 1. If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction. 2. Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error then be discovered. 3. Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be. 4. Interchangeable tapes won't 5. If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it. 6. Machines work, people should think. Golub's Laws of Computerdom --------------------------- 1. A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long. 2. The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time. Bradley's Bromide ----------------- If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. ......................