There was this bloke who came all excited into the patents office with his latest invention, which he presents to the patents clerk: "But what's this!" says the clerk "An apple! I'm sorry sir but you have to realise that you can't patent an apple." "But taste it, taste it" says the apple patenter. The clerk tastes the apple "Just as I say, it's an apple, and you can't patent it". "But turn it around!" says the patenter "Turn it around!". The clerk does so, and takes a bite, and to his supprise, it tastes of pear. "Interesting" says the clerk "but to be honest, it hardly seems worth patenting. I mean, if you want apple you buy apple, and if you want pear you buy pear. Why patent this apple?" The patenter becomes rather dejected, lowers his head, and leaves. However, three months later he returns, once more in an exited state, and hands the clerk an apple. "Taste it, taste it" says the patenter. The clerk tasts the apple. "Apple!" says the clerk "If I'm not mistaken common Cox's Orange Pippin!" "But turn it around!" says the patenter "Turn it around!". The clerk does so, to find that the other side tasts of banana. "Very novel" says the clerk "But take my advice. Nobody wants an apple that tasts banana when they can buy the real thing. You really shouldn't trouble yourself." Dispondent and dejected, the patenter turns his back and leaves. However, three months later, he ruturns, now even more excited than before. "I've got it!" he exclames "This is the big one! I have finally developed the apple that tastes of WOMAN ! Somewhat suspiciously, the clerk takes the apple and bites. "Yeeaaauurrghgh" he screams, coughing and spluttering, "Are you mad! It's horrible! My god it tastes of, tastes of... of ..SHIT!" "But turn it around!" says the patenter "Turn it around!".