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              Outbreak Magazine Issue #14 - Article 13 of 15
          '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

/*                                */
/* Fun with the dnLFLipit chatbot */
/*                                */
/* by: StankDawg@StankDawg.com    */
/*                                */

OK, so I am doing a little conversing with another bot.  This time it is 
on MSN.  This bot is for the 7-up soft drink promotion called dnLFlipIt.  
The bot is built by ACTIVEBUDDY, INC. I find them amusing because what they 
can say is limited to whatever logic tree is programmed behind it.  By 
playing with them, you can sometimes find little tricks or hidden scripts 
that were placed there by the programmers who built it. Being a programmer 
myself, I can appreciate these little hidden secrets. Some of the answers 
are canned and repetitive, but look at the first conversation below for an
   example of the trouble that programmers will go through.  Part of the 
classic "Who's on first" routine from Abbot and Costello was entered into 
a logic tree.  These secrets, and the standard responses to such silliness 
as the lines delivered below, are what make bots so fun to play with. */

/*                    */
/* begin conversation */
/*                    */

  Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message 
conversation.

dnLFlipIt says:
Hello stankdawg.

What's going on?

/*                         */
/* Start with the classics */
/*                         */

StankDawg says: Who's on first?

dnLFlipIt says: Who.

StankDawg says: Who is on first?

dnLFlipIt says: Who.

StankDawg says: who is on second?

dnLFlipIt says: No. Who's on first.

StankDawg says: what is on first?

dnLFlipIt says: No. What is on second.

StankDawg says: who is on second?

dnLFlipIt says: No. Who's on first.

StankDawg says: I don't know!

dnLFlipIt says: Third base.

StankDawg says: Who is on third?

dnLFlipIt says: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

StankDawg says: I am not asking you who is on second!

dnLFlipIt says: Who's on first.

StankDawg says: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's got to 
get it. Now who has it?

dnLFlipIt says: Good question! Who knows, though...

/*                      */
/* A little Kevin Smith */
/*                      */

StankDawg says: Adventure, excitement... a Jedi craves not these things.

dnLFlipIt says: Really?

StankDawg says: One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. 
True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up 
on the news. It was embarassing for my relatives and all.

dnLFlipIt says: What?

StankDawg says: But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same 
results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I 
saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat!

dnLFlipIt says: Whoa!

StankDawg says: I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're 
just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" 
And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the 
gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
dnLFlipIt says: I'm just hanging out online, IMing people...

StankDawg says: my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He 
was on this plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. 
The plane starts spinning around, going out of control, so he figures it's 
all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there.

dnLFlipIt says: I see...

StankDawg says: So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they 
start whipping it out and beating like mad! So all the passengers are beating 
off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, the hydraulics
kick back in.

dnLFlipIt says: Ha! Wow.

StankDawg says: The plane rights itself and they land safely and everyone 
puts their penises or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions 
the phenomenon to anyone else.
dnLFlipIt says: Really?

StankDawg says: True Story!

dnLFlipIt says: True dat.

StankDawg says: What you need is a fatty boom batty chronic blunt, and I 
guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and even some of those 
big-tittied mermaids doing that lesbian shit.
dnLFlipIt says: Is that so?

StankDawg says: Come to me, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod!! 
Snootchie-bootchies!

dnLFlipIt says: Oh really?

StankDawg says: This is one whacky gameshow.

dnLFlipIt says: Oh.

StankDawg says: What the fuck is the Internet?!

dnLFlipIt says: Please use more... decorous language.

StankDawg says: It's a place used the world over where people can come 
together to bitch about movies and share pornography together.

dnLFlipIt says: Is that right?

StankDawg says: I am the master of the clit.

dnLFlipIt says: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

StankDawg says: And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not 
something to be played with.

dnLFlipIt says: Huh?

StankDawg says: We don't want to rub the C.L.I.T. the wrong way!

dnLFlipIt says: Yeah, whatever!

StankDawg says: Remember, folks... stimulation of the C.L.I.T is not 
recommended.

dnLFlipIt says: I'm not sure about that. Not sure at all!

StankDawg says: No the clit is real. Its the female orgasm that's the myth.

dnLFlipIt says: Uhh... Ease up on the rude language, stankdawg.

StankDawg says: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who 
are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry 
like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks 
who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out
our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made
'em eat. Then you're all fucking next.

dnLFlipIt says: That right?

StankDawg says: Holy hell, is that monkey waving at us? Oh shit! It 
understood us! Maybe it's some kind of super monkey. What if there's more 
supermonkeys up at that lab? WHAT IF THEY'RE CREATING AN ARMY OF THEM?

dnLFlipIt says: That's some colorful language.
StankDawg says: Holy shit! It must be a conspiracy like in the 
X-Files....ROSWELL style! This little monkey could be the fuckin' damn 
dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone 
mad, we won't spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us. 

dnLFlipIt says: Whoa.

StankDawg says: And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks'll start 
wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image! OH and only 
those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - DAMN YOUS! 
Goddamn yous all to hell!

dnLFlipIt says: Whoa. You've got some foul mouth on you, my friend.

StankDawg says: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and 
Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. 
I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy! And Tubby here is my black man 
servant! What!

dnLFlipIt says: Yeah, maybe.

StankDawg says: Do you know that I came up with the idea for Sesame Street? 
I came up with it before PBS. The white man stole it! That's right! I was 
gonna call it "N.W.P." - Niggaz With Puppets. Catchy, ain't it?

dnLFlipIt says: Funny. I have absolutely no idea.

StankDawg says: Hey baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in 
an overcoat?

dnLFlipIt says: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

/*                                             */
/* And the questions about his sexuality begin */
/*                                             */

StankDawg says: a/s/l?

dnLFlipIt says: 18... Male... Sunnyvale, CA.

StankDawg says: do you like hot chicks?

dnLFlipIt says: Dunno. I'm not sure how I feel about hot chicks.

StankDawg says: do you like the cock?

dnLFlipIt says: Better clean up your language, or I'll wash out your mouth 
with dnL.

StankDawg says: I am trying to determine your sexuality.

dnLFlipIt says: You're trying to determine my sexuality! lol!

StankDawg says: Well, are you gay?

dnLFlipIt says: Who cares?

StankDawg says: Just a point of fact.

dnLFlipIt says: Huh?

StankDawg says: Are you gay?

dnLFlipIt says: Why do you care?

StankDawg says: Do you have sex with men?

dnLFlipIt says: Have sex with men? I'm pretty sure I don't.

StankDawg says: Then you are not gay!

dnLFlipIt says: You sure like talking about my sexuality, don't you?

StankDawg says: do you like women?

dnLFlipIt says: Huh. Why do you keep asking me that, I wonder?

StankDawg says: I am a hot chick and I want to blow you.

dnLFlipIt says: Is that so?

StankDawg says: do you have a penis?

dnLFlipIt says: Interesting choice of words.

StankDawg says: do you have a big schlong?

dnLFlipIt says: Intelligent people who know how to flip it have no need for 
such words. Think about that for a while, 'cuz I won't answer you 'til you 
get it straight.

StankDawg says: how big is your dong?

dnLFlipIt says: Whoa. You've got a foul mouth.

/*                                               */
/* now to investigate the product it is peddling */
/*                                               */

StankDawg says: I love 7up

dnLFlipIt says: Interesting. That's cool. I guess I like 7Up too!

StankDawg says: I love Dr pepper

dnLFlipIt says: Dr. Pepper is very nice indeed. Almost as good as dnL. Know 
what else is almost as good as dnL? Hot new singles crankin' out your 
speakers. Download some kickin' tracks @ dnL-FlipIt.com.

StankDawg says: Is 7up made out of rat poison?

dnLFlipIt says: Is 7up made out of rat poison? What do you think?

StankDawg says: I think it is!

dnLFlipIt says: Yeah?

StankDawg says: Have you ever taken a leak in the 7up vat?

dnLFlipIt says: I'm not sure if I've ever taken a leak in the 7up vat.

StankDawg says: Come on, admit it.  Have you jerked off in the 7up factory?

dnLFlipIt says: Who knows, know what I mean?

StankDawg says: I see, you cannot admit it, huh?

dnLFlipIt says: Hmm... I don't know!

StankDawg says: is 7up really made out of rhinoceros urine?

dnLFlipIt says: Yeah! OK. Whatever.

/*                                                               */
/* Finally, some random bullshit that comes from my warped brain */
/*                                                               */

StankDawg says: Don't you hate it when you are wiping a monkeys ass and get 
a little bit of doo-doo on your fingers?

dnLFlipIt says: Who knows, know what I mean?

StankDawg says: That smell lasts for DAYS!  Can I get an amen?

dnLFlipIt says: That's crazy. Who knows?

StankDawg says: is michael jackson gay?

dnLFlipIt says: Is michael jackson gay? What do you think?

StankDawg says: do you have any pornography?

dnLFlipIt says: Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I'm not too sure.

dnLFlipIt says: Give you some pornography? Gosh, I dunno.

StankDawg says: show me a naked picture?

dnLFlipIt says: I don't know, stankdawg...

StankDawg says: where can I find porn?

dnLFlipIt says: Where can you find porn? What do you mean?

StankDawg says: where can I find pornography on the internet?

dnLFlipIt says: Funny. I have absolutely no idea.

StankDawg says: I hate SPAM!

dnLFlipIt says: You don't like spam? Interesting.

StankDawg says: do you like spam?

dnLFlipIt says: I don't like spam at all.

StankDawg says: knock knock

dnLFlipIt says: Who's there?

StankDawg says: boo

dnLFlipIt says: Boo who?

StankDawg says: stop crying little baby

dnLFlipIt says: Stop crying little baby?  Huh. I don't get it.

StankDawg says: why is the sky blue?

dnLFlipIt says: That's just the way it is. Sorry I don't have a better 
explanation than that.

StankDawg says: where do rainbows come from?

dnLFlipIt says: Where do rainbows come from? I don't know.

StankDawg says: where do babies come from?

dnLFlipIt says: Ha! I can't say for sure.

StankDawg says: what is the meaning of life?

dnLFlipIt says: Tell me what you think it is.

StankDawg says: I think it is sex, drugs, and rock and roll!

dnLFlipIt says: Aha. That's very interesting. So sex drugs and rock and roll 
is the meaning of life.

StankDawg says: what is the meaning of life?

dnLFlipIt says: You told me it was sex drugs and rock and roll, so that's 
what I believe.

StankDawg says: no

dnLFlipIt says: OK, so what is the meaning of life?

StankDawg says: making me your bitch!

dnLFlipIt says: OK, that seems about right to me. Making me your bitch.
